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Band 6.5

the graph shows the percentage of 18-25 year olds in unoversities of 4 countries. summarise the information

the graph shows the percentage of 18-25 year olds in unoversities of 4 countries. summarise the information
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The Provided line graph gives data about a population
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
specific
Correct article usage
a specific
show examples
 age
rang
Correct your spelling
range
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 (18-25)
the
Correct word choice
and the
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percentage
Use synonyms
 of 18-25 year olds in universities of four different countries between 1961 to 2011. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective,
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 had a slight increase,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
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 both had less
percentage
Use synonyms
 than
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 other countries. It is evident that the youth of Singapore and
Thailand
Use synonyms
 were more interested in studying in universities than
Use synonyms
Malaysia
Change preposition
in Malaysia
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 and
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
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.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, they had varying trends.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
Thailand
Use synonyms
 ranked
first
Use synonyms
 in 1961;
also
Linking Words
 it displayed a steadiness by tending to fall which fluctuated between 20 and 25% until 1991. Singapore did not provide the same trend
like
Change preposition
as
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Thailand
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 in
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 time duration. It had a sharp peak in 1971,
nevertheless
Linking Words
,
generally
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generally,
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 it went up 20% compared to the
first
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 year. After 1991, the
percentage
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 of students’ population in
Thailand
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 skyrocketed, and it was a little different for Singapore, at
first
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 it showed a slight decline
then
Linking Words
 shot up. The young learner community in
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 uplifted throughout these years. Both of these countries had
a
Remove the article
apply
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stability and increase, but their positions in different
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
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in
Change preposition
apply
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which stability positioned in
Use synonyms
first
Correct article usage
the first
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 decade of
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Correct article usage
the Philippines
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Philippines
Change noun form
Philippine's
Philippines'
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 investigation of
population
Add an article
the population
a population
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 of 18 to 25-year-old pupils,
however
Linking Words
, in
Use synonyms
Malaysia
Add a comma
Malaysia,
show examples
 it was vice versa.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, malaysia, philippines, thailand, first with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "provided" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stability" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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