IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Write about the following topic: Travelling in group with a tour guide is the best way to travel. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge

#topic #group #tour #guide #travel #reason
When it comes to
plan
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planning
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 an
itineray
Correct your spelling
itinerary
, some people say
traveling
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travelling
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 as a member of
group
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a group
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tour
, following a
tour
 guide is the easiest way.
However
, I believe that
traveling
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travelling
show examples
 by oneself can be far more precious and
memoriable
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memorable
 in life. Those who like to travel in
group
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groups
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 with a
tour
 leader often assert that it is the easiest way to plan a travel schedule and not
to
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apply
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waste energy before they step into real adventure. It is understandable since a number of people in
modern
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the modern
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 world do not have enough time and energy to put into making an
itineray
Correct your spelling
itinerary
.
Nevertheless
, we need to focus on what we can achieve from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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traveling
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travelling
show examples
 and how to maximize the value of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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traveling
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travelling
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. When we just follow the
tour
 leader by the planned timetable, there are a lot of opportunities and experiences that we might miss.
Moreover
, there are some life lessons and techniques that we can learn during
traveling
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travelling
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 by
oneself
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ourselves
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. We might able to find a solution
of
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to
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 our
dillema
Correct your spelling
dilemma
 in the middle of
traveling
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travelling
show examples
 or
personal
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our personal
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favorite
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favourite
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 place. From my personal experience, I 많은 사람들이 여행계획하는것이 피곤하기때문에 투어를 신청하는경우가 있는데 이것은 돈을 내고 얻을수있는 효과를 극대화하지못하는것이라고생각한다 정해진 투어로 여행을 하게되었을때 여행 마지막때 대부분의 그룹의 사람들이 비슷한 경험 느낌을 공유할것이다. 하지만 혼자서 스스로 개인이 여행을 하게되었을때는 본인의 특별한 경험과 느낌을 차별화 시키고 더 소중한 추억으로 남길수있다. 게다가 예를들어, 투어가이드와 여행시, 정해진 일정, 정해진 식사, 정해진 장소에서 많은 새로운 사람들과 대화하고 혼자서 여행시 얻을수있는 인생교훈이나 스킬들을 배울 기회를 놓치게된다. 내 예를 들어보면 나는 한때 호주 사막여행을 계획한적이있었는데 잠시동안 투어와 혼자여행을 고민했다. 그리고 결과적으로 혼자여행했는데 이덕분에 호주에서의 대중교통을 통해여행하는법을 배웠고 투어로 갔으면 겪지않을 어려움으로부터 이겨낼 인생스킬도 터득했다 결론: 투어여행이 편리하고 합리적일수있지만 혼자여행하는것은 그 이상의 가치를 가지고있기에 나는 혼자여행이 최고라고 생각함
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structure
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion, both of which are essential in structuring a coherent argument. Introduce the topic clearly, offer a thesis statement, and conclude with a summary of your argument to enhance coherence and cohesion.
logic
The essay does contain some logical structuring but often fails to logically connect ideas and arguments, which leads to a fragmented flow of information. Use conjunctions and cohesive devices effectively to better guide the reader through your line of thought.
development
While the essay does attempt to support the main points, the arguments often seem undeveloped or cut short. Expand on your ideas by giving detailed reasons, more thorough explanations, and more specific examples to enforce your arguments.
task response
The task requires you to clearly agree or disagree with a given statement, but the essay presents a mix of personal reflections without fully elaborating on the reasons for agreement or disagreement. Make sure to respond completely to the task by fully arguing for your position and elaborating on your reasoning.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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