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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows the number of British citizens who emigrated to three countries in three periods of time

The chart below shows the number of British citizens who emigrated to three countries in three periods of time
The chart provided,
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 information about the
number
Use synonyms
 of
british
Change the capitalization
British
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citizens
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 that decide to emigrate to various countries in three periods of time. In 2004, the highest
number
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 of
british
Change the capitalization
British
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citizens
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 recorded emigrated to Australia which is about 42
Use synonyms
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
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people
Use synonyms
. Following Australia, approximately 35
Use synonyms
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
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people
Use synonyms
 went to Spain, 25
Use synonyms
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 went to
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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. And, the
number
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 of britanians who depart to France and New Zealand is relatively
same
Correct article usage
the same
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. In 2005, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
citizens
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emigrated
Correct pronoun usage
who emigrated
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 to any
country
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 declined. But, in 2006 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
citizends
Correct your spelling
citizens
 who
depart
Wrong verb form
departed
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 gradually
rising
Wrong verb form
rose
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. The
number
Use synonyms
hike
Wrong verb form
hiked
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 from approximately 39
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thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
people
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 in 2005 to 52
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thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
people
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 in 2006. The
number
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 of
citizens
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 that depart to
france
Change the capitalization
France
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 dropped from 35
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thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to 26
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thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
people
Use synonyms
. In 2007, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who leave
britain
Change the capitalization
Britain
show examples
 to any other countries fell again. We can conclude that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
people
Use synonyms
 took
interest
Correct article usage
an interest
show examples
 in departing from
britain
Change the capitalization
Britain
show examples
 to other countries attributable to
any
Correct determiner usage
some
show examples
 reasons. 2007 is the year
where
Correct word choice
when
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 the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
citizens
Use synonyms
 depart from
britain
Change the capitalization
Britain
show examples
 to any
country
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. And, Australia is the most popular
country
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 for
british
Change the capitalization
British
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to emigrate and New Zealand is the least popular
country
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Add some linking words.
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Linking words: Add linking words.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, citizens, thousands, people, country with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 8 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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