IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Some people believe that the government should invest more in public transportation to reduce traffic congestion. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#people #government #transportation #traffic #congestion
Someone
Correct your spelling
Some
show examples
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
show examples
 that the
autherity
Correct your spelling
authorities
 should spend
money
 on more
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 transportation to dramatically decrease traffic
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
. In my experience, I think the topic
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
 all of them is agree like that for three reasons. I will write four paragraphs Including
introduction
Correct article usage
an introduction
show examples
 , two reasons and my opinion. I absolutely agree with that first of all, if the
state
 should spend more budgets for
state
vahicle
Correct your spelling
vehicles
likes
Wrong verb form
like
show examples
 a bus,
train
Fix the agreement mistake
trains
show examples
,
tram
Fix the agreement mistake
trams
show examples
,
furry
Correct word choice
and furry
show examples
, many
people
 will not spend more
time
 on the way to waste
time
 on the road.
For example
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public transportation is important to help them
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
save
time
 when
we
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 go to work
for earning
Change preposition
to earn
show examples
money
.
Hence
, the
state
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 to fix the
ploblem
Correct your spelling
problem
.
Last
 but not least, The reason for
that is
 necessary
to
Add a missing verb
is to
show examples
 help
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 go
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
outside
particulary
Correct your spelling
particularly
particular
,rush hour.So,the government have to resolve issues quickly because it is worth
to do
Change the verb form
doing
show examples
 like that.
For example
, gas
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
,
express way
Correct your spelling
expressway
show examples
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
, and car park
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
. They can
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
enjoy
with
Correct pronoun usage
themselves with
show examples
 my friend on
train
Add an article
the train
a train
show examples
 because they do not focus on
way
Correct article usage
the way
show examples
 to go and traffic
light
Fix the agreement mistake
lights
show examples
 and can talk
a
Change preposition
about a
show examples
wide variety of
topic
Fix the agreement mistake
topics
show examples
 with their
collique
Correct your spelling
colleagues
. In
comclusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, I strongly agree with some
people
think
Correct pronoun usage
who think
show examples
 that
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
state
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 to spend
money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
people
 who
are lived
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
 in the country.
Consequently
, they can save
time
,
money
Correct word choice
and money
show examples
 and talk to their friend on public transportation that they should.
Submitted by sasi.jariyasirikul on

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coherence cohesion
It's crucial to clearly structure your essay into four well-developed paragraphs- an introduction, two body paragraphs with clear topic sentences, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea and be linked to others through cohesive devices.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction should provide a brief background on the topic and clearly outline your opinion. The conclusion should summarize the main points of the essay and restate your stance, leaving the reader with a final thought that relates to the overall essay.
task achievement
Support each point with relevant examples or explanations. Avoid general statements without specific evidence. Examples should be detailed and contextualize your arguments effectively.
task achievement
Ensure the essay task is fully covered; it should discuss both sides if the prompt asks 'To what extent do you agree or disagree?' and include your opinion. Ensure that the essay provides a clear response to all parts of the question.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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