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Writing Samples
Band 5

The chart below shows the annual pay (thousands of US dollars) for doctors and other workers in seven countries in 2004.

The chart below shows the annual pay (thousands of US dollars) for doctors and other workers in seven countries in 2004.
The bar
chart
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 represents the
amount
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 of annual
salary
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 that had been paid to different
workers
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 in comparison to especially
doctors
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 in seven
countries
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 over the world which were , France,the Czech Republic, Italy, Finland,Germany , Switzerland and The United States in 2004. It is clear from the
chart
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 that
doctors
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' annual
salaries
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 in US
dollars
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 outweigh
Correct article usage
the
show examples
salaries
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 of the other
workers
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 in the seven
countries
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 in 2004. There is a noticeable difference between Finnish
doctors
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 and
American
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doctors
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 in
salary
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 payments.
American
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doctors
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 were paid around 120
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
US
dollars
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 per year which was the highest
amount
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 of
salary
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.
In
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On
show examples
 the other hand, Finnish
doctors
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 were paid less than
American
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doctors
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 about 70
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
US
dollars
Use synonyms
. A closer examination of the figures for
doctors
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 actually revealed the greatest
amount
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 of annual
salaries
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 in comparison to other
workers
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. Swiss
doctors
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 had the second rank after
American
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doctors
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 in the rate of annual
salaries
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 were paid almost 70 thousand
dollars
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 per year.
However
Linking Words
, the three mentioned
countries
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 in the
chart
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 which are Italy, the Czech Republic and Germany had the lowest
amount
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 of annual
salaries
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 for the rest of the
workers
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 which was less than 25 thousand
dollars
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 per year. The
chart
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 shows that
doctors
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 were paid a higher
amount
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 of money
in contrast
Linking Words
 to other
workers
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.
This
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 would claim to look at the reasons why
doctors
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 had the highest
salary
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 rates.
In
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addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
 the
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
government
 of these seven
countries
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 should take an opportunity to raise the
salaries
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for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 other
workers
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.

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, amount, salary, workers, doctors, countries, salaries, dollars, american with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "comparison" was used 2 times.
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