IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The pie charts below show reasons why people left the UK for other countries and why people stayed in the UK. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The pie charts below show reasons why people left the UK for other countries and why people stayed in the UK. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#minutes #show #people #uk #countries #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The given pie charts give information about the
reasons
Use synonyms
 why people stay in or leave from the
UK
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the most popular
reason
Use synonyms
 for staying
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
UK
Use synonyms
 was the family/friend
category
Use synonyms
, and the quality of life
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 the most popular leaving cause among the
participiants
Correct your spelling
participants
. Turning to the first image, the
category
Use synonyms
 of family or
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
 was the most said
reason
Use synonyms
 for staying
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
UK
Use synonyms
,
at
Change preposition
as
show examples
 it represented
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the majority of all
reasons
Use synonyms
 (43%).
This
Linking Words
 was followed by the categories of social life which
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 given as a
reason
Use synonyms
 by 21% of total
participiants
Correct your spelling
participants
. Interestingly, the percentages of employment and financial
reasons
Use synonyms
 were the same and accounted for 15%. The
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
 rate
was belonged
Change to the active voice
belonged
has belonged
show examples
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
category
Use synonyms
 of language, just above
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
one in ten. Looking more closely at the
secong
Correct your spelling
second
 figure,
in contrast
Linking Words
 to the first image the
category
Use synonyms
 of family/friends represented
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the least popular
reason
Use synonyms
 at 9%, which was the most popular
reason
Use synonyms
 for staying. The most remarkable
reason
Use synonyms
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
leving
Correct your spelling
living
leaving
 from the
UK
Use synonyms
 was the quality of life
and
Correct word choice
which
show examples
 accounted for 37%. The field of employment and financial
reasons
Use synonyms
 accounted for 18% and 24%, respectively. When these two
added
Add a missing verb
were added
show examples
 together, they made 42%, collectively.
Finally
Linking Words
, the least popular cause was the weather, only 12% of total attendants gave the weather as a
reson
Correct your spelling
reason
 for leaving.
Submitted by ilaydailday on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words reasons, uk, reason, category with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "represented" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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