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Writing Samples
Band 5

The pie charts show the reasons for migration to and from the UK in 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts show the reasons for migration to and from the UK in 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #migration #uk #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The pie charts demonstrate why people emigrated from and immigrated to the
UK
Use synonyms
 in 2007. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, immigration to the
UK
Use synonyms
 was primarily related to occupational and educational reasons
while
Linking Words
 emigration from
this
Linking Words
 country was mostly for work only. Looking at the charts, it is evidently apparent that definite jobs were the most common
reason
Use synonyms
 for both entering and leaving the
UK
Use synonyms
, with 30% of
UK
Use synonyms
 immigrants going to
this
Linking Words
 country and 29% of the emigrants leaving it
for
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
reason
Use synonyms
, respectively. The figures for formal study,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, indicate a contrasting trend. Whilst
this
Linking Words
 was the second-most-popular
reason
Use synonyms
 for immigrating to the
UK
Use synonyms
 (at 26%), only 4% of the
UK
Use synonyms
 students left their country for
further
Linking Words
 education, representing the least chosen
reason
Use synonyms
 in the emigration chart. Turning to the emigration chart, looking for a job was the second runner-up incentive why people emigrated from the
UK
Use synonyms
 in 2007, with more than one-fifth of emigrants choosing
this
Linking Words
reason
Use synonyms
 (22%)
while
Linking Words
 in the former chart, it accounts for only a bit more than a tenth of
UK
Use synonyms
 leavers (12%).
Submitted by tranbaongoc231007 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words uk, reason with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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