IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Students are becoming more and more reliant on the Internet. While the Internet is convenient, it has many negative effects and its use for educational purposes should be restricted. How far do you agree with this statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
One of today’s social
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
that is
Linking Words
 of concern
every one
Replace the word
everyone
show examples
 is
students
Use synonyms
 are
being
Verb problem
becoming
show examples
 more and more reliant on the
Internet
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 the
Internet
Use synonyms
bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
 a lot of
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 the
Internet
Use synonyms
 has many negative effects and should be restricted for education purposes. Personally, I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 view for a variety of reasons.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, many
students
Use synonyms
 are abusive
use
Use synonyms
 of the
Internet
Use synonyms
 because the
Use synonyms
Internet
Add a verb
Internet is
Internet was
show examples
 very convenient for
search
Replace the word
searching for
show examples
 information.
This
Linking Words
mean
Change the verb form
means
show examples
 if depend too much on the
Internet
Use synonyms
, it can lead to addiction. In fact, the
Internet
Use synonyms
 is only
benefit
Replace the word
beneficial
show examples
 when we
use
Use synonyms
 it for
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 purposes.
For example
Linking Words
, the
Internet
Use synonyms
 is a useful source
data
Change preposition
of data
show examples
 for
students
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as
students
Use synonyms
 can search about
culture
Add an article
the culture
show examples
 of
country
Add an article
the country
a country
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
Internet
Use synonyms
 can help everyone in the world can communicate
each
Change preposition
with each
show examples
 other. In fact, many couples get married even though they are not from the same country.
For example
Linking Words
, the
Internet
Use synonyms
 can help us communicate with family,
husband
Correct word choice
and husband
show examples
/wife by using video
call
Fix the agreement mistake
calls
show examples
although
Linking Words
 we live far from home. But
Correct your spelling
besides
show examples
beside
Correct your spelling
besides
show examples
 that, the
Internet
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 many disadvantages, if using the
Internet
Use synonyms
 for
Correct article usage
the
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 wrong purpose
such
Linking Words
 as playing
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
 or chatting all day,
this
Linking Words
 can
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
studying or
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
does
Verb problem
apply
show examples
not care about health. And so that
students
Use synonyms
 are not too dependent on the
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
. Schools need to limit
students
Use synonyms
'
use
Use synonyms
 of phones during class hours and should only
use
Use synonyms
 them when necessary to serve their studies. In conclusion, the
Internet
Use synonyms
 is convenient and has many
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
 and schools should be restricted if not
students
Use synonyms
 are becoming reliant on the
Internet
Use synonyms
. In my opinion,
although
Linking Words
 the
Internet
Use synonyms
bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
 a lot of
beneficial
Replace the word
benefits
show examples
 and we should only consider the
Internet
Use synonyms
 as a support tool, if
students
Use synonyms
 abuse will have
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
 effect.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Please ensure that your essay is structured logically with clear paragraphs, including an introduction and conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and be fully developed.
task achievement
Strive to present your main points more clearly and comprehensively. The essay currently comes across as a collection of ideas rather than a coherent argument. Furthermore, specific examples to illustrate your points are necessary to strengthen your essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessibility
  • independent learning
  • critical thinking
  • excessive reliance
  • hinder
  • crucial
  • problem-solving
  • overly dependent
  • diversity
  • perspectives
  • global cultures
  • enriching
  • unrestricted
  • information overload
  • discerning
  • credible sources
  • incorporation
  • engagement
  • adaptivity
  • personalized learning
  • innovative
  • pedagogy
  • digital age
What to do next:
Look at other essays: