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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph below shows the average monthly temperatures in three major cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph below shows the average monthly temperatures in three major cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#line #temperatures #three #cities #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The line graph gives information regarding
average
Correct article usage
the average
show examples
temperature
Use synonyms
 every month in
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
 top cities.
Overall
Linking Words
, it was noticeable that
Paris
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
dubai
Change the capitalization
Dubai
show examples
 had similar fluctuations
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
average
Change the article
an average
the average
show examples
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
temperatures of
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
 major cities.
Paris
Use synonyms
 and
Dubai
Use synonyms
 had similar
pattern
Fix the agreement mistake
patterns
show examples
 of fluctuation of
temperature
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. In January,
Paris
Use synonyms
 stood at 5
Use synonyms
celcius
Correct your spelling
celsius
 of
temperature
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 of the city,
whereas
Linking Words
Dubai
Use synonyms
 began the
temperature
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 of the city at 20
Use synonyms
celcius
Correct your spelling
celsius
. The
temperature
Use synonyms
 of both of them rose gradually until July. The
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
celcius
Correct your spelling
celsius
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
Dubai
Use synonyms
 increased in August,
then
Linking Words
 fell dramatically in December at under 25
Use synonyms
celcius
Correct your spelling
celsius
.
In addition
Linking Words
,
Paris
Use synonyms
 passed the stable condition of
temperature
Use synonyms
 between July and August. Afterwards, There was a gradual drop in
Use synonyms
temperature
Correct article usage
the temperature
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
Paris
Use synonyms
 between August to December at 5
Use synonyms
celcius
Correct your spelling
celsius
.
Lastly
Linking Words
, Sydney started the
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
temperature
Use synonyms
 in January at almost 25
Use synonyms
celcius
Change the capitalization
Celcius
show examples
. From July to February remained number of
celcius
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 at almost 25.
Next,
Linking Words
there was a significant fall
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
temperature
Use synonyms
until
Change preposition
apply
show examples
from March to July. Sydney reached
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
temperature
Use synonyms
 in July, namely under 15
Use synonyms
celcius
Correct your spelling
celsius
.
Then
Linking Words
, the
temperature
Use synonyms
 rose significantly from July to December at under 25
Use synonyms
celcius
Correct your spelling
celsius
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words temperature, paris, dubai, celcius with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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