The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and ,are comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and ,are comparisons where relevant.
The two pie charts
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
illustrate digital sales figures of four sectors namely
Correct article usage
the Tousrism
show examples
Tousrism
Correct your spelling
the tourism
sector
, Entertainment
secotor
Correct your spelling
sector
sectors
, Literary
secotor
Correct your spelling
sector
and
textile
Correct article usage
the textile
show examples
sector
of New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Looking from an
overall
perspective, the tourism industry used to
dominated
Wrong verb form
dominate
show examples
the
digitalmarket
Correct your spelling
digital market
share in 2003, before being topped by the entertainment
sector
a decade later.In 2013 film and music
sector
had a
Correct your spelling
considerable
conciderable
Correct your spelling
considerable
increacment
Correct your spelling
increment
while
the travel
sector
and the
apparellost
Correct your spelling
apparel lost
apparel-lost
their market share
except
Add the preposition
except for
show examples
the books industry. In 2003
thrird
Correct your spelling
third
place
and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fourth
place
were held by books and travel
secotors
Correct your spelling
sectors
.
liekwise
Correct your spelling
likewise
, Within the given period the entertainment
sector
and the literary
secotor
Correct your spelling
sector
had an
increasement
Correct your spelling
increment
of 33% and 22% respectively.
However
, the travel
secotor
Correct your spelling
sector
used to
ranked
Change the form of the verb
rank
show examples
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first
place
in 2003 by
doing
Verb problem
increasing
show examples
their sales
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
36% and had
drop
Change the verb form
dropped
show examples
by 7% in 2013.
Moreover
, The clothing
sectore
Correct your spelling
sector
store
also
decendedfrom
Correct your spelling
decreased from
second
plce
Correct your spelling
place
to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
last
place
of
Change preposition
at
show examples
16% within
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
ten years.
Submitted by thiliniranatunga1994 on

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sector, secotor, place with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Market share
  • Distribution
  • Retail sector
  • Consumer preferences
  • Growth/decline
  • Trend
  • Technological advancements
  • e-commerce
  • Comparison
  • Percentage
  • Online shopping sales
  • Sectoral shifts
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