The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and ,are comparisons where relevant.

#show #sales #sectors #zealand #summaries #information #features #comparisons

The two pie charts

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

illustrate digital sales figures of four sectors namely

Correct article usage

the Tousrism

show examples

Tousrism

Correct your spelling

the tourism

sector

, Entertainment

secotor

Correct your spelling

sector

sectors

, Literary

secotor

Correct your spelling

sector

and

textile

Correct article usage

the textile

show examples

sector

of New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Looking from an

overall

perspective, the tourism industry used to

dominated

Wrong verb form

dominate

show examples

the

digitalmarket

Correct your spelling

digital market

share in 2003, before being topped by the entertainment

sector

a decade later.In 2013 film and music

sector

had a

Correct your spelling

considerable

conciderable

Correct your spelling

considerable

increacment

Correct your spelling

increment

while

the travel

sector

and the

apparellost

Correct your spelling

apparel lost

apparel-lost

their market share

except

Add the preposition

except for

show examples

the books industry. In 2003

thrird

Correct your spelling

third

place

and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

fourth

place

were held by books and travel

secotors

Correct your spelling

sectors

liekwise

Correct your spelling

likewise

, Within the given period the entertainment

sector

and the literary

secotor

Correct your spelling

sector

had an

increasement

Correct your spelling

increment

of 33% and 22% respectively.

However

, the travel

secotor

Correct your spelling

sector

used to

ranked

Change the form of the verb

rank

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

first

place

in 2003 by

doing

Verb problem

increasing

show examples

their sales

Change preposition

show examples

36% and had

drop

Change the verb form

dropped

show examples

by 7% in 2013.

Moreover

, The clothing

sectore

Correct your spelling

sector

store

also

decendedfrom

Correct your spelling

decreased from

second

plce

Correct your spelling

place

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

last

place

Change preposition

show examples

16% within

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

ten years.

Submitted by thiliniranatunga1994 on Fri Dec 29 2023

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words sector, secotor, place with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

156 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and ,are comparisons where relevant.

Some people think that men and women have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In the past, people lived in one place for a long time, but now they can live in many different places, what are the reasons? Is this a positive or negative development?

Although more and more people read the news on the internet, newspapers will remain the most important source of news for the majority of people. Do you agree or disagree?

Several languages are in daner of extinction because they are spoken by very small number of people.Some people say that government should spend public money on saving these languages, while others believe that would be a waste of money.Discuss both views and give your opinion.