Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #situation #job #shortage #money #situations

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A number of people

believes

Change the verb form

believe

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that everybody should accept their bad situation,

for

Linking Words

instance

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instance,

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a job which is not the one you want or lack of money

while

Linking Words

others

believes

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believe

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it is much better to try and develop

these kind

Change the determiner

this kind

these kinds

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of situations. I am a person who

never

Add a missing verb

is never

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be satisfy

Wrong verb form

satisfied

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and always

desire

Correct subject-verb agreement

desires

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for better.

That is

Linking Words

why, I am totally against the thought

that

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being glad and thankful in unpleased situations. First of all, I would like to say that of course being grateful is not something that makes people pathetic. What I mean is we should always want better for ourselves. I believe

that is

Linking Words

the only way to innovate ourselves and reach success. Speaking of which, as I said, I have always wanted so many things for myself like language education or

making

Verb problem

doing

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internship

Add an article

an internship

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apply

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overseas and that passion made me an eminent Veterinarian.

Secondly

Linking Words

, to make development, people need to reach perfectness. From my point of view, nobody can get victory by accepting the situation they have. For

this

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, the

key words

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keywords

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are

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

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hardworking and ambitious. If you are,

for

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example

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example,

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a teacher, you must work hard to be the best tutor ever.

For example

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, could Edison invent a lamp if he would be okay with his failure or do you think could someone get a pay raise by embracing their salary? All in all, it seems to me that

although

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being pleased with our situation is not something bad, we always should try

for

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apply

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our best.

Submitted by fatmanurdonertas on Fri Dec 29 2023

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introduction conclusion present

Your introduction lacks a clear thesis statement that outlines the essay's structure. It is essential to have a well-defined introduction and conclusion to orientate the reader.

logical structure

Ideas in your essay were not always logically sequenced, which made it somewhat difficult to follow your argument. To improve coherence, make sure to use cohesive devices to lead the reader through your argument.

supported main points

Main points in the essay lacked development and elaboration. To enhance your score, provide sufficient support for each point with detailed explanations and examples.

complete response

While you addressed both views, your response could be more complete with a balanced discussion and a clearer personal stance. Develop your ideas fully to cover all parts of the question.

clear comprehensive ideas

Ideas require clarity and comprehensive development throughout the essay. Aim for a clear progression of ideas from introduction to conclusion.

relevant specific examples

Supporting examples were not always specific or fully relevant. To strengthen the essay, use concrete and pertinent illustrations to back your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

252 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

adversity
resilience
stoicism
contentment
cope
adapt
endure
persevere
settle
ambition
tenacious
determined
resourceful
optimistic
self-improvement
proactive
initiative
transform
overcome
confront

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Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that sleeping is the only method which allows people to get enough relaxation. Others belleve that physical activities such as playing games and exercises also provide enough relaxation. Discuss both views and provide your opinion.

Some people believe that young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that governments should give financial support to creative artists such as painters and musicians. Others believe that creative artists should be funded by alternative sources. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Modern culture around the world have become similar when compared to the past. What are the reasons. Is it a positive development or a negative development, in your opinion.