Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
A number of people
believes
that everybody should accept their bad situation, Change the verb form
believe
for
instance
a job which is not the one you want or lack of money Add the comma(s)
instance,
while
others believes
it is much better to try and develop Change the verb form
believe
these kind
of situations. I am a person who Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
never
Add a missing verb
is never
be satisfy
and always Wrong verb form
satisfied
desire
for better. Correct subject-verb agreement
desires
That is
why, I am totally against the thought that
being glad and thankful in unpleased situations.
First of all, I would like to say that of course being grateful is not something that makes people pathetic. What I mean is we should always want better for ourselves. I believe Change preposition
of
that is
the only way to innovate ourselves and reach success. Speaking of which, as I said, I have always wanted so many things for myself like language education or making
Verb problem
doing
internship
Add an article
an internship
at
overseas and that passion made me an eminent Veterinarian.
Change preposition
apply
Secondly
, to make development, people need to reach perfectness. From my point of view, nobody can get victory by accepting the situation they have. For this
, the key words
are Correct your spelling
keywords
being
hardworking and ambitious. If you are, Unnecessary verb
apply
for
example
a teacher, you must work hard to be the best tutor ever. Add the comma(s)
example,
For example
, could Edison invent a lamp if he would be okay with his failure or do you think could someone get a pay raise by embracing their salary?
All in all, it seems to me that although
being pleased with our situation is not something bad, we always should try for
our best.Change preposition
apply
Submitted by fatmanurdonertas on
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introduction conclusion present
Your introduction lacks a clear thesis statement that outlines the essay's structure. It is essential to have a well-defined introduction and conclusion to orientate the reader.
logical structure
Ideas in your essay were not always logically sequenced, which made it somewhat difficult to follow your argument. To improve coherence, make sure to use cohesive devices to lead the reader through your argument.
supported main points
Main points in the essay lacked development and elaboration. To enhance your score, provide sufficient support for each point with detailed explanations and examples.
complete response
While you addressed both views, your response could be more complete with a balanced discussion and a clearer personal stance. Develop your ideas fully to cover all parts of the question.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ideas require clarity and comprehensive development throughout the essay. Aim for a clear progression of ideas from introduction to conclusion.
relevant specific examples
Supporting examples were not always specific or fully relevant. To strengthen the essay, use concrete and pertinent illustrations to back your points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.