IELTS WRITING Task 1. The line graph illustrates the proportion of tourists who visited Brighton attractions in England from 1980 to 2010.

IELTS WRITING Task 1. The line graph illustrates the proportion of tourists who visited Brighton attractions in England from 1980 to 2010.
The line graph provided gives information about the percentage of
tourists
to England who visited Brighton attractions from early 1980 to 2010. In 1980, most
people
spent their leisure time going to the festivals and only approximately 10% of
tourists
went to the pier. But, we can see that the growth of
people
going to the festival was stable at around 28%-30% until 2010. In 1980, a lot of
people
went to the
pavilion
and the number of
tourists
that visited the
pavilion
significantly spiked from about 20% in 1980 to 28% in 1985 and reached its peak at 48% visitors in 1995. Even, though the number kept declining until 2010 it is recorded that the
pavilion
is the most popular destination for
tourists
compared to other attractions. Art galleries have
also
become the most popular destination in 1985, but the number of visitors keeps falling down until 2010. In 2005 and 2010, art gallery is the least popular destinations amongst other entertainment events. The pier holds the title of the least popular destination from 1980 to 2005 but
afterwards
Add a comma
afterwards,
show examples
the percentage rise up to about 20%. In conclusion, we can see that the
pavilion
and festival attract
people
more from time to time.
Art
Correct article usage
The art
show examples
gallery and the pier are the least popular places to visit by
tourists
.
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Linking words: Add more linking words.
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words tourists, people, pavilion with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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