IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below gives information about on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the year 1990 and 2010.

The bar chart provides information regarding the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
money
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 spent by
individuals
Use synonyms
 in the UK for
charity
Use synonyms
 purposes by age range over two decades from 1990 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 more
people
Use synonyms
 gave their
money
Use synonyms
 to
charity
Use synonyms
 in the first period compared to the second.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
also
Linking Words
 noteworthy is the fact that young
individuals
Use synonyms
 involved doing
charity
Use synonyms
, despite the
percentage
Use synonyms
 declining in the second period.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the
percentage
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 of
people
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 around the ages of 18 to 36 was higher in terms of giving
money
Use synonyms
 to others in 1990, accounting for around 85% collectively. In the same year,
individuals
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 between 51 and 65 were the second largest proportion of doing
charity
Use synonyms
, making up 35%, and it was higher than
people
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 aged 65 and over.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, doing
charity
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 was a more popular activity for
individuals
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 around 51 and over, contributing to around 70
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 collectively in 2010.
While
Linking Words
 the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of young
individuals
Use synonyms
 between the ages of 18 to 25 accounted for around 18%, the number of
people
Use synonyms
 around 36 to 50 years old who gave their
money
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 to
charity
Use synonyms
 doubled during the period.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, money, individuals, charity, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "gave" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 6 times.
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