Many young people regularly change their jobs over the years. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Lots of
people
switching
Wrong verb form
have switched
show examples
their careers over the years. It gives some benefits to them to find more good places to work and
also
to improve their skills and experience too.
However
, switching
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
jobs
is a good thing. Because
then
people
can experience new things and
also
improve their skills in different ways. Most young
people
starts
Change the verb form
start
show examples
to work at the age of 19-20 and some of are working
while
studying too. So for that kind of
prople
Correct your spelling
people
, when
chanaging
Correct your spelling
changing
their
jobs
they can get lots of experience
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
their life. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
example they they can
leanr
Correct your spelling
learn
new things
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
their
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
. If someone
working
Wrong verb form
works
show examples
as
a
Change the article
an
show examples
office manager, and later on if he
having
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
a
knowladge
Correct your spelling
knowledge
of some ICT,
then
he can
swith
Correct your spelling
with
switch
his
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
job
and get new
experence
Correct your spelling
experience
as
a
Change the article
an
show examples
ICT engineer or something related to ICT.
The
Change preposition
On the
show examples
other hand there are some disadvantages
also
, some students planning their career and studying only for one future career so after they graduate, they need to work in the same
job
which he or she studied. so they can't switch their
jobs
over the years to different
jobs
or careers.
Also
some young
people
familiar
Add a missing verb
are familiar
show examples
with their
job
for
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
years, so if they change their
jiobs
Correct your spelling
jobs
to another
job
which is not familiar,
then
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
will face
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a problem. In
Correct your spelling
conclusion
conclusin
Add a comma
conclusin,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
can say that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
switching
jobs
is a good
hings
Correct your spelling
thing
things
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
young
people
. Because
then
they can get new
experence
Correct your spelling
experience
, they can improve their skills in different
jobs
also
.
Submitted by shevonsavidhu14 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Establish your main points more clearly and develop them with specific details and examples. Although there are some examples provided, they could be more directly linked to each argument to improve the clarity of your ideas.
Task Achievement
Your essay should fully address all parts of the task. While you touched upon both parts of the question, further exploration of each aspect would make the response more comprehensive. Discuss the reasons for job changes as well as comparing the advantages and the disadvantages in a more balanced manner.
Task Achievement
Provide clearer, more comprehensive ideas within the scope of the prompt. Avoid general statements and consider developing each point with more depth and breadth.
Coherence & Cohesion
Incorporate varied sentence structures and advanced vocabulary to accurately express your ideas. Pay close attention to the appropriateness of words and phrases for an academic essay.
Task Achievement
Ensure that the essay maintains relevance throughout, with each paragraph clearly relating to the prompt. Avoid straying from the topic, and ensure that each paragraph serves a purpose in exploring the topic at hand.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • career aspirations
  • dynamic workplace
  • job-hopping
  • job opportunities
  • technological advancements
  • job market
  • job satisfaction
  • work-life balance
  • higher salaries
  • career progression
  • diverse skill set
  • work cultures
  • professional asset
  • stability
  • commitment
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