Many young people regularly change their jobs over the years. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Lots of
people
Use synonyms
switching
Wrong verb form
have switched
show examples
their careers over the years. It gives some benefits to them to find more good places to work and
also
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to improve their skills and experience too.
However
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, switching
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
jobs
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is a good thing. Because
then
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people
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can experience new things and
also
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improve their skills in different ways. Most young
people
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starts
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start
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to work at the age of 19-20 and some of are working
while
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studying too. So for that kind of
prople
Correct your spelling
people
, when
chanaging
Correct your spelling
changing
their
jobs
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they can get lots of experience
to
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in
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their life. For
an
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apply
show examples
example they they can
leanr
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learn
new things
to
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in
show examples
their
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
. If someone
working
Wrong verb form
works
show examples
as
a
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an
show examples
office manager, and later on if he
having
Wrong verb form
has
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a
knowladge
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knowledge
of some ICT,
then
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he can
swith
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with
switch
his
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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job
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and get new
experence
Correct your spelling
experience
as
a
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an
show examples
ICT engineer or something related to ICT.
The
Change preposition
On the
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other hand there are some disadvantages
also
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, some students planning their career and studying only for one future career so after they graduate, they need to work in the same
job
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which he or she studied. so they can't switch their
jobs
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over the years to different
jobs
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or careers.
Also
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some young
people
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familiar
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are familiar
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with their
job
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for
few
Correct article usage
a few
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years, so if they change their
jiobs
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jobs
to another
job
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which is not familiar,
then
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he
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
will face
to
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apply
show examples
a problem. In
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conclusion
conclusin
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conclusin,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
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can say that
,
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apply
show examples
switching
jobs
Use synonyms
is a good
hings
Correct your spelling
thing
things
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
young
people
Use synonyms
. Because
then
Linking Words
they can get new
experence
Correct your spelling
experience
, they can improve their skills in different
jobs
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
.
Submitted by shevonsavidhu14 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Make sure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The response provided lacks a well-defined introduction and conclusion, affecting the logical structure and overall cohesion of the essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Establish your main points more clearly and develop them with specific details and examples. Although there are some examples provided, they could be more directly linked to each argument to improve the clarity of your ideas.
Task Achievement
Your essay should fully address all parts of the task. While you touched upon both parts of the question, further exploration of each aspect would make the response more comprehensive. Discuss the reasons for job changes as well as comparing the advantages and the disadvantages in a more balanced manner.
Task Achievement
Provide clearer, more comprehensive ideas within the scope of the prompt. Avoid general statements and consider developing each point with more depth and breadth.
Coherence & Cohesion
Incorporate varied sentence structures and advanced vocabulary to accurately express your ideas. Pay close attention to the appropriateness of words and phrases for an academic essay.
Task Achievement
Ensure that the essay maintains relevance throughout, with each paragraph clearly relating to the prompt. Avoid straying from the topic, and ensure that each paragraph serves a purpose in exploring the topic at hand.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • career aspirations
  • dynamic workplace
  • job-hopping
  • job opportunities
  • technological advancements
  • job market
  • job satisfaction
  • work-life balance
  • higher salaries
  • career progression
  • diverse skill set
  • work cultures
  • professional asset
  • stability
  • commitment
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