Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many healthy problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.
Many companies produce consumeable
items
with high levels of sugar
which disturb public health.To counter this
situation,these products
should be made costly.
I disagree with this
notion due to
the following reasons.The arguments are,
its impact on the Remove the comma
apply
economy
,out of reach from the poor people, reduced cash flow,and low employment rate.
To commence with,expensive sugar
commodities can affect nation's
Correct article usage
a nation's
economy
.In other words
,costly items
can not attract international buyers.For instance
,merchants purchase these types of products
from the developing part of the world because these articles are cheap over there.If sugar
products
are costly then
no one buy
them.So,expensive Change the verb form
buys
sugar
commodities can disturb the economy
.Secondly
,high-priced food
items
have an effect on the low-level
public.Correct your spelling
low-income
Moreover
,It is generally believed that high-cost food
articles are usually out of reach of the general public.For example
,in Africa,folks can not purchase food
commoditised due to
its high price.So,they live in starvation.Hence
,expensive sugar
-containing food
items
can be prove
a disaster.
Change the verb form
prove
In addition
,costly items
reduce the
foreign investments in the state.Correct article usage
apply
Furthermore
,no investments in the sector mean fewer factories in the country.This
situation leads to the
shortage of employment.For understanding,in Sri Lanka,cash flow was not in the state in recent times.which led the developing country to a disaster.Correct article usage
a
Hence
,high-cost sugar
food
items
can disturb the whole system.
In conclusion,sugar
items
should be made more costly to encourage folks to eat fewer products
is not a
right call.I strongly disagree Correct article usage
the
due to
,its impact on the economy
,its effect on hand to mouth public,and its stopping the flow of cash.I recommend that personal changes can be a good solution.Submitted by jamalashraf45 on
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coherence cohesion
You should ensure the essay has a clear and logical structure, with well-organized paragraphs each addressing a single point.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion should clearly state your main argument and summarise your key points, respectively.
coherence cohesion
Main points need to be developed with relevant examples and stronger support throughout the essay.
task achievement
The response should answer the question fully, addressing all parts of the task without omitting any important information.
task achievement
Your ideas should be clear and comprehensive, with complex sentences and precise vocabulary that conveys your argument effectively.
task achievement
Incorporate specific examples that solidly back your arguments and refer directly to the issue at hand.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.