Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many healthy problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Many companies produce consumeable
items
with high levels of
sugar
which disturb public health.To counter
this
situation,these
products
should be made costly. I disagree with
this
notion
due to
the following reasons.The arguments are
,
Remove the comma
apply
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its impact on the
economy
,out of reach from the poor people, reduced cash flow,and low employment rate. To commence with,expensive
sugar
commodities can affect
nation's
Correct article usage
a nation's
show examples
economy
.
In other words
,costly
items
can not attract international buyers.
For instance
,merchants purchase these types of
products
from the developing part of the world because these articles are cheap over there.If
sugar
products
are costly
then
no one
buy
Change the verb form
buys
show examples
them.So,expensive
sugar
commodities can disturb the
economy
.
Secondly
,high-priced
food
items
have an effect on the
low-level
Correct your spelling
low-income
show examples
public.
Moreover
,It is generally believed that high-cost
food
articles are usually out of reach of the general public.
For example
,in Africa,folks can not purchase
food
commoditised
due to
its high price.So,they live in starvation.
Hence
,expensive
sugar
-containing
food
items
can
be prove
Change the verb form
prove
show examples
a disaster.
In addition
,costly
items
reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
foreign investments in the state.
Furthermore
,no investments in the sector mean fewer factories in the country.
This
situation leads to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
shortage of employment.For understanding,in Sri Lanka,cash flow was not in the state in recent times.which led the developing country to a disaster.
Hence
,high-cost
sugar
food
items
can disturb the whole system. In conclusion,
sugar
items
should be made more costly to encourage folks to eat fewer
products
is not
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
right call.I strongly disagree
due to
,its impact on the
economy
,its effect on hand to mouth public,and its stopping the flow of cash.I recommend that personal changes can be a good solution.
Submitted by jamalashraf45 on

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coherence cohesion
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Overconsumption
  • Obesity
  • Diabetes
  • Heart disease
  • Public health
  • Taxation
  • Purchasing decisions
  • Education campaigns
  • Economic implications
  • Subsidizing
  • Healthier alternatives
  • Disproportionately
  • Low-income families
  • Personal responsibility
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