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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The tradition of families getting together to eat meals is disapearing. What are the reasons?What are the impact

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In the contemporary era, life is getting so busy with daily stuff that
people
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 hardly get time to eat meals together .
This
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 essay will outline its reasons and
impact
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 in upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, there are multiple reasons and the foremost reason is the fast-paced life,
people
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 are heavily busy with their daily routine and workload that they are unable to sit together to have a meal on a regular basis.
For instance
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 , in a family, working members are busy with their workload in the office and kids are busy with studies, assignments or outings with friends.
Moreover
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 , everyone has their own world and duties,
however
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 ,
this
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 rat race
force
Change the verb form
forces
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 us to forget about certain important aspects of our lives.
Furthermore
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 , another reason is technology,
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this
Correct pronoun usage
which
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has consumed us deeply and has taken an important part of our lives. Everyone is so busy with smartphones and social media that we forget about our families
while
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 socializing on the Internet.
Consequently
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 , the change has a deep
impact
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 on our social bonding between the family members. The relationships we used to have in earlier times are not stronger nowadays.
Additionally
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 , children hate to sit with older
people
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 in the family and spend time with them.
For example
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 , a study from the University of California shows that in developed countries where technology has a great
impact
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,
people
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 are less social in person and living in a nuclear family .
Therefore
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 , it clearly portrays the bigger picture that with the use of technology and modern luxuries, we are losing social bonding with our family members.
Although
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 , it is
well-known
Correct article usage
a well-known
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 fact that these modern facilities have made our life easier but still
people
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 should understand that we should limit them to a certain level and should keep the traditions.
To Conclude
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 , I would like to assert that, there are many reasons that
people
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 should limit their daily routine, work and other activities. To avoid its
threating
Correct your spelling
threatening
impact
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, they should spare their time to keep their traditions and values.

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coherence cohesion
Be sure to develop a clear logical structure to your essay. Each paragraph should have a clear central topic and ideas should flow naturally from one to the next with appropriate use of cohesive devices.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be improved by clearly summarizing your main points and arguments. Make sure your conclusion effectively ties your essay together.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with specific examples and explanations. While you have provided some examples, more detailed evidence and elaboration will strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Ensure you fully respond to all parts of the task. While you have addressed both reasons and impacts, expand on these points with a more detailed examination to provide a complete response.
task achievement
Ideas presented in the essay should be clear and comprehensive. Work on developing your thoughts fully to give the reader a better understanding of your viewpoints.
task achievement
Use relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points. Your essay includes a study, but mentioning more specific details or additional studies could provide more weight to your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • coordinating
  • preoccupied
  • emphasis
  • traditional gatherings
  • flexibility
  • spontaneity
  • structured
  • generational changes
  • family bonds
  • communication
  • problem-solving
  • eating habits
  • balanced diet
  • cultural traditions
  • communal
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