IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

pie chart about electricity production in Australia adn france

#electricity #production #australia #adn #france
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The pie illustrates the
the
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apply
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number of
units
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 generated by different
feul
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fuel
 sources in both
of
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Australia
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 and
France
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 in 1980 and 2000.
Overall
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, in 1980, half of the
electricty
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electricity
production
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 in
Australia
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 came from coal,
while
Linking Words
France
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 used both coal and natural
gas
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.
However
Linking Words
, in 2000,
Australia
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 relied heavily on coal for most than
two-third
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two-thirds
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 of the
production
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,
converserly
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conversely
,
Franece
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France
 used nuclear
power
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 as the main source.
To begin
Linking Words
, in 1980, coal
production
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 constituted 50 of 100
units
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 of the total energy
production
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 in
Australia
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. Meanwhile,
oil
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, natural
gas
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 and
hydro
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hydropower
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power
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 contributed to 10, 20, 20
units
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 each, respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
France
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 generated only 25
unit
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units
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 from coal which is half the energy produced in
Australia
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.
Additionally
Linking Words
, natural
gas
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,
oil
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, and
hydro
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hydropower
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power
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 produced 25, 20, and 5
units
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 each, respectively.
However
Linking Words
,
France
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 used nuclear
power
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 to produce 15
units
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, in comparison to zero
production
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 in
Australia
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.
By contrast
Linking Words
, in 2000, coal
production
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 substantially increased to 130 out of 170
units
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 of electricity in
Australia
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.
Likewise
Linking Words
,
hydro
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hydropower
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power
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 usage increased marginally to 36
units
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,
however
Linking Words
, electricity
units
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 produced by
oil
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 and natural
gas
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 significantly decreased to 2
units
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 of the total
production
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
France
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’s nuclear
power
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 usage climbed extensively to 126 out of 170
units
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. Meanwhile, coal contribution remained steady, but
oil
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 usage increased slightly to 25
units
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.
Conversely
Linking Words
, both
oil
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 and natural
gas
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 reliance decreased considerably to 2
units
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ototonji.ot on

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Introduction and Conclusion
Ensure that the introduction provides a clear overview of what the charts are about without going into too much detail. The conclusion should reiterate the main comparisons and trends without introducing new data.
Logical Structure
Develop logical sequencing of ideas throughout the essay. Use a range of cohesive devices to help the reader follow the flow of your argument more easily.
Supporting Main Points
Back up each point you make with specific data from the charts. Consider each segment of the chart and make sure to mention each of the fuel sources listed.
Complete Response
It's vital to provide a complete response to all parts of the question. For visual data like a pie chart, ensure you are discussing percentages or proportions rather than units, as 'units' may confuse the reader.
Clear and Comprehensive Ideas
Strive to present your ideas clearly, using precise vocabulary and a variety of grammatical structures. Make sure to proofread for syntax errors or misused terms, such as 'most than two-third,' which should be 'more than two-thirds'.
Relevant Specific Examples
Enhance your writing with relevant and specific examples from the data. Provide accurate and detailed comparisons to clearly convey the differences between Australia and France's energy production over time.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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