IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004.

The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004.
#expenditure #three #categories #age #groups #residents #uk
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the bar chart gives us information about
Correct article usage
the persentage
show examples
persentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of total spending on food and drink,and
restourant
Correct your spelling
restaurants
 and
Use synonyms
hotel
Fix the agreement mistake
hotels
show examples
,
Linking Words
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
Correct article usage
the entartaiment
show examples
entartaiment
Correct your spelling
entertainment
. between different
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 of age in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 in 2004 .
overall
Linking Words
,it can be seen that citizens were spending the most
mony
Correct your spelling
money
 on foods and drinks in
their
Correct pronoun usage
those
show examples
over 76 years old
that is
Linking Words
 the same for
intertaimnet
Correct your spelling
entertainment
in
their
Correct pronoun usage
those
show examples
 over61 to 75 ,
however
Linking Words
Add the comma(s)
,
show examples
the lowest expenditure was for restaurant and
hotel
Use synonyms
 when they were over 61 and lower 75 years old . in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of
restaurant
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
show examples
 and
Use synonyms
hotel
Fix the agreement mistake
hotels
show examples
, individuals in
Uk
Correct article usage
the Uk
show examples
 when they were younger ( under 30)
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
were
Correct your spelling
interested
intrested
Correct your spelling
interested
to
spen
Correct your spelling
spend
money
Use synonyms
 on them by slightly below %15 percentage , rather than other things in 2004 ,
however
Linking Words
Add the comma(s)
,
show examples
they have been spending more
money
Use synonyms
 on food and drink when they were between 31 and 60 around approximately from 13% to 16 % , regards to over
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
, residents in England have spent
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
show examples
sof
Correct your spelling
of
money
Use synonyms
 on both food and drink ,
Correct word choice
and entertaiment
show examples
entertaiment
Correct your spelling
entertainment
 as well by the same
persentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 which was less or more than %23 when they were between 61 and over in their age .
although
Linking Words
 people in 2004
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Britain
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 less amount
money
Use synonyms
 on
restuarant
Correct your spelling
restaurants
 and
Use synonyms
hotel
Fix the agreement mistake
hotels
show examples
. which was less than %10 percentage
Submitted by dler_shakar on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words hotel, money with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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