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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#anthropology #graduates #university #course #salaries #anthropologists #work #five #years #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The pie chart illustrates the proportion of students after finishing their undergraduate degree in Anthropology
while
Linking Words
 the table depicts the amount of their income after 5 years.
Overall
Linking Words
, the biggest proportion belongs to
Fully-time
Correct your spelling
Full-time
show examples
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
Change preposition
in Antrhropology
show examples
Antrhropology
Correct your spelling
Anthropology
 and all of them can work in 3
kind
Change to a plural noun
kinds
show examples
 of companies, which can earn
salary
Correct article usage
a salary
show examples
untill
Correct your spelling
until
 $100,000.
Initially
Linking Words
, the percentage of some students who work full-time is approximately half of all of them
while
Linking Words
 some of them who study postgrad
are
Change the verb form
is
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 the same just 8 % with
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
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 are unknown .
Moreover
Linking Words
, the portion of part-time
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
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 who are studying postgrad is 5%, just half of
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
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 are not
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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. the contribution of
unemployed
Correct article usage
the unemployed
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 is 12%. Moving to the table, the salaries of 15% of
Antrhropology
Correct your spelling
Anthropology
 graduates after 5 years in Freelance consultants and
Government
Correct article usage
the Government
show examples
 sector was 50,000_74,999$
while
Linking Words
 the salaries of 40% of them in
Freelance
Correct article usage
the Freelance
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 and 30% of them in
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 sector was the same in 75,000_99,999$.
In addition
Linking Words
,10% of
Antrhropology
Correct your spelling
Anthropology
 worked in Private companies and earned 25,000_49,999$
whereas
Linking Words
 30% of them
earnd
Correct your spelling
earned
earn
 100,000$.
Submitted by ziba.gharehnazifam on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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