The pie charts below compare water usage in San Diego, California and the rest of the world.

The pie charts below compare water usage in San Diego, California and the rest of the world.
The pie graphs contrast the consumption of
the
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water
in three different categories, namely, residential, industry, and
agriculture
in
San
Diego
,
California
, and
in
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the
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worldwide. From an
overall
perspective, it is noticeable that
agriculture
consumes the largest amount of
water
in the world.
However
, people’s consumption of the
water
in industry’s category experiences the lowest. As is obviously shown in the pie charts,
the
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agriculture
is accounted
Wrong verb form
accounts
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for 69%
in
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of
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the
worldwide
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world
show examples
which is approximately near
to
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apply
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the percentage of
the
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water
usage in residential in
San
Diego
nation, at 60% and 39% and 8% in
California
, and
in
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the
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worldwide, respectively.
However
, the
agriculture
Replace the word
agricultural
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usage of
water
in
California
witness 28%
while
the rate usage of
water
in
San
Diego
is 17%.
On the other hand
, the smallest amount of
the
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consumption of
the
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water
is
accounted
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accounts
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for 23%
in
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of
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industry in both,
San
Diego
, and
in
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the rest of the world.
Nevertheless
, people use more
water
in
California
for industry expenditure with a percentage of 33%.
Submitted by f201600285 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words water, agriculture, san, diego, california with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • households
  • significant
  • industrial use
  • implications
  • agriculture
  • geographical
  • climatic
  • economic factors
  • patterns
  • sustainability
  • practices
  • surprising
  • exceptionally
  • improvements
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