many countries use fossil fuels such as coal or oil as the main sources of energy. however, in some countries the use of alternative sources of energy is encouraged. do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In the contemporary era,
energy
consumption is growing on a daily basis. Many
countries
have their prime source of
energy
such
as
oil
or coal
whereas
, other
countries
rely on other
alternative
sources. There are multiple factors for
this
trend and as far as my opinion is concerned, I believe that using the
alternative
has more benefits and is a welcoming approach.
To begin
with, only a few
countries
have coal or
oil
available to mine and consume. That means, other
countries
have to
import
oil
or coal from them for their consumption, which makes them dependent on other
countries
.
For instance
, Dubai is one of the biggest
exporter
Fix the agreement mistake
exporters
show examples
of raw
oil
to other
countries
and India, Bangladesh etc are dependent
to
Change preposition
on importing
show examples
import
oil
from them.
Moreover
, the cost of transportation fuel is quite high,
hence
, it becomes extremely expensive to the end user.
Therefore
, it is quite efficient if the country is
ables
Replace the word
able
show examples
to have
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
alternatives.
On the other hand
,
countries
with their own
alternative
source of
energy
are self-dependent .
For example
, many
countries
such
as India and others have managed to invent their own ways to generate
energy
from water, windmills etc are
self depend
Correct your spelling
self-dependent
show examples
and do not fully rely on other
countries
to
import
oil
or coal from them.
Additionally
,
countries
like India are now self-dependent on generating electricity and have already working on promoting electric vehicles to fully avoid the use of oils for their vehicles.
Thus
, the idea of
alternative
energy
is highly beneficial and cost-effective to the end user.
To conclude
, I would like to assert that, though many
countries
still require to
import
oil
and coal from other
countries
, having their own alternatives provides more advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
Submitted by hiteshpaul on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay. Transition words should be used effectively to connect sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
An introduction and conclusion are present, but you should work on making a more impactful thesis statement and final thought that clearly reflects the discussion.
coherence cohesion
Support your ideas with specific examples and explanations. While some examples are relevant, they could be further elaborated to enhance the argument.
task achievement
Make sure to address all parts of the task. The essay does complete the prompt but could further explore the complexities of the topic.
task achievement
Strive to communicate ideas clearly and comprehensively. Clarity could be improved by refining sentence structure and using a wider range of vocabulary.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your points; the examples given are relevant but should be more detailed to strengthen the argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • renewable energy
  • solar power
  • wind energy
  • hydroelectricity
  • geothermal
  • biomass
  • sustainability
  • fossil fuels
  • greenhouse gases
  • carbon footprint
  • sustainable development
  • energy efficiency
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • ecosystems
  • natural resources
  • energy consumption
  • carbon emissions
  • environmental degradation
  • technological advancements
What to do next:
Look at other essays: