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Writing Samples /
Band 3

The plans below show the layout of university's sport center now, and how it will look after redevelopment. summarize the information by selecting main feature and make comparison

#plans #show #layout #university #sport #center #redevelopment #information #feature #comparison
The maps detail plans for the renovation of
sport
Correct article usage
the sport
show examples
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 in
university
Correct article usage
the university
show examples
. Looking from an
overall
 perspective, it is evident that the
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 will greatly expand and some leisure facilities,
such
 as
dance
Correct article usage
a dance
show examples
 studio and café will be constructed.
To begin
 the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of
sport
Correct article usage
the sport
show examples
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
, it is readily apparent that the entrance and reception,
where
Correct word choice
which
show examples
 is in front of the entrance, will remain the same. Behind the reception, there is a 25-meter
pool
 which will be unchanged in size and position and surrounded by seating, changing
room
, and gym. It is noticeable the
pool
surrounded
Wrong verb form
surrounding
show examples
 part will remain the same, except gym,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 will expand and widen. In terms of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
size and
wide
Replace the word
width
show examples
, the
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 will widen.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 sides of
25-m
Correct article usage
the 25-m
show examples
pool
Add a comma
pool,
show examples
 there are currently outdoor courts,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 they will transform
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
leisure
Correct article usage
a leisure
show examples
pool
 and sports hall. The leisure
pool
 will be on the west side, precisely behind the changing
room
,
moreover
Add a comma
moreover,
show examples
 one extra changing
room
 will be located under it.
Moreover
, there will be a symmetry of the extra changing
room
 on the East side. Next to the symmetrical changing
room
 will be
café
Correct article usage
a café
show examples
 and
sports
Correct article usage
a sports
show examples
 shop. As it was mentioned before, the
left
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
outdoor courts will
transform
Wrong verb form
be transformed
show examples
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
sports
Correct article usage
a sports
show examples
 hall and double dance studios.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that you provide a clear and effective introductory paragraph that includes an overview of the main changes. An introduction should effectively set the scene for the reader.
coherence cohesion
A conclusion is not present, which is required for task completion. Make sure to provide a summary of the information or a concluding statement to effectively wrap up the report.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of linking words and cohesive devices more effectively. This will help in logically organizing information and ideas throughout your response.
task achievement
Provide a more complete response to the task by fully comparing the current and future plans of the sports center, detailing all the major changes and how they relate to the existing layout.
task achievement
Develop clearer and more comprehensive ideas for each section of the sports center changes. This includes expanding and giving more detailed descriptions, comparisons and explanations.
task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to support your main points, which could be achieved by describing changes in greater detail or quantifying changes wherever possible.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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