Many employees can now do their work from home using modern technology. However, this change may only benefit workers, not the employers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Thanks to advanced technologies, people are able to
work
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remotely
instead
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of going to the
office
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, which is said to be solely beneficial for employees. From my viewpoint, I largely disagree with
this
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statement because hybrid working seems to benefit both sides. On the one hand, there are numerous advantages of working from
home
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for workers. The foremost one is that
this
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kind of
work
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is cost-efficient and time-saving. If individuals did not go to the
office
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, they would not necessarily spend hours travelling.
Therefore
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, not only may fuel
cost
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costs
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be reduced but they
also
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can avoid air pollution or harsh weather
such
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as snow and heavy rain.
Furthermore
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,
home
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is believed to be a comfortable environment, which is likely to fuel personal productivity. It means their
work
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will be completed efficiently, which is good for their managers.
On the other hand
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, employers might take advantage of remote
work
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.
First,
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they can curtail their expenditure on basic commodities served at the
office
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such
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as water and electricity;
additionally
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, it is seemingly not desirable to decorate or set up offices elaborately when
office
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workers do their tasks at
home
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.
Hence
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, the operation cost of the business is minimized considerably.
Nevertheless
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, what may become an onerous task for managers is how to supervise their individuals properly. Those are bound to be distracted by various factors at
home
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, which their supervisors are unable to tackle from a distance. Their children and pets are taken as prime examples. Ultimately, companies should have detailed schemes for online supervision before hybrid
work
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implementation. In conclusion, I can hardly agree that working from
home
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is not beneficial for employers. It is on the grounds that both they and their employees can take benefits from it as long as they have methods to manage online.
Submitted by chungoc2001 on

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Task Achievement
It is essential to maintain a clear position throughout your response. While you presented a viewpoint and balanced discussion on the benefits of home working for both employers and employees, ensure that your position is consistent and that each paragraph advances your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on linking your ideas more fluidly. Transitional phrases were used, but their implementation could be improved for a seamless reading experience. Use a wider range of cohesive devices to enhance the flow of information and arguments within and between paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific and varied examples to support your arguments. While you touched upon generalised benefits and drawbacks, incorporating real-world examples or citing brief case studies could strengthen your arguments and give your writing a more authoritative tone.
Coherence and Cohesion
For a higher score in coherence and cohesion, it is important to ensure paragraphs are well-structured and that ideas within them are logically ordered. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea that is elaborated upon convincingly.
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