Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now ‘one big traffic jam’ How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?
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An increasing number of car owners over the past thirty years caused the world
in
a big Verb problem
to have
traffic
jam. I think this
statement is 50% true. The main reason is whether many cities in the world are now having a traffic
jam should depend on how big and crowded the city
is. For example
, city
like Taipei always has Add an article
a city
traffic
jams at the peak hour, but in Hualien city
, there won’t be any traffic
jams due to
the smaller population.That’s why I’ll say the Topic is not 100% true because it should be specific cities, especially in capital
, Add an article
the capital
are
facing Correct pronoun usage
that are
traffic
issues.
Traffic
problems are happening in many countries, particular
in Taiwan. I think the government can do the following things to discourage Change the word
particularly
people
from using their cars.
First,
improving the public transportation system is the most efficient way to encourage people
to take buses or MRT rather than drive their own car
, because it's faster and cheaper for them. Fix the agreement mistake
cars
For example
, the MRT and buses in Taipei almost cover the whole city
, you can go anywhere in Taipei you want if you take the
public transportation.
Correct article usage
apply
Second,
governments can raise the parking or fuel taxes to discourage people
from using their cars.The higher cost
of Correct article usage
the cost
people
using their own car, the fewer
willing they Correct quantifier usage
less
want
to use it or buy Verb problem
are
for
a new one.These are basically two measures that I think governments can do.Change preposition
apply
Submitted by JIllhuang0310 on
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introduction conclusion present
The essay would benefit from a more structured introduction and a concluding paragraph to better frame the discussion. The introduction should more clearly state the writer's view and outline the essay's structure, while the conclusion should summarize the main points and reiterate the writer's opinion.
logical structure
Ensure that arguments are connected in a more logical and clear manner. Use a wider range of cohesive devices and topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to lead the reader through your argument effectively.
supported main points
Work on developing your main points further. Each paragraph should contain one clear main idea, followed by supporting sentences that expand on this point with explanations, examples, or evidence.
complete response
Make sure to address all parts of the task. While you have presented some arguments and outlined measures the government could take, more work is needed to fully answer the question posed. Specifically, consider discussing why car ownership has grown and reflect on the validity of the 'one big traffic jam' statement in more detail.
clear comprehensive ideas
Strive for greater clarity and depth in your ideas. Articulate your points more comprehensively, using more detailed explanations and more varied sentence structures. This could involve discussing the causes and effects associated with the increase in car ownership and considering various stakeholders involved in this issue.
relevant specific examples
Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your points. Instead of general statements, use precise data or case studies from different cities or countries to illustrate your ideas. This will help to strengthen your arguments and the persuasive power of your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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