Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

In the
last
decades, processed food has increased significantly which contains lots of food additives
such
as high
level
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levels
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sugar
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of sugar
show examples
and so on. It is widely believed that
,
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apply
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rising prices would be the best solution to tackle the health problems that could be caused by
such
ingredients. In my view,
this
can be an alternative but people should be educated from young
ages
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age
show examples
to have healthy diets which make their appetite
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
show examples
of consuming
high
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high-level
show examples
level
sugar
Change preposition
of sugar
show examples
. In
this
essay, I will extend my opinion. As far as I'm concerned, appetite is formed gradually as we grow, based on what we eat.
Consequently
, If we have the habit of eating processed food with high
sugar
, it can be difficult for us to change our desire in old
ages
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age
show examples
when its effect starts to appear on our body.
For instance
, I'm kind of a chocolate lover and I
really
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am really
show examples
keen on testing various versions of it, despite
of
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apply
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considering its prices.
In
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On
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a special occasion
such
as my birthday, I save some money to buy
expensive
Correct article usage
an expensive
show examples
and delicious one for myself.
This
can be an example that price wouldn't prevent me
to consume
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from consuming
show examples
high
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high-level
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level
sugar
products
such
as chocolate.
On the other hand
, it is considerable that
incresing
Correct your spelling
increasing
price
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prices
show examples
can be an avoidable option as people try to buy those products or foods more cautiously.
As a result
, they may use less of these items
in
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over
show examples
a long period of time which obviously can control their
health threatening
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health-threatening
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factors.
For instance
, as I mentioned before, I prefer to buy chocolate or other
high
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high-level
show examples
level
sugar
products
in
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for
show examples
some
uniqe
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unique
events
such
as
birthday
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birthdays
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and so on. To put it in a nutshell,
Althogh
Correct your spelling
although
rising
price
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prices
show examples
can be a preventing
soulution
Correct your spelling
solution
to help
indivuduals
Correct your spelling
individuals
eating
Wrong verb form
eat
show examples
less unhealthy things, they should educate and get
habits
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the habits
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of having
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
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diet from their childhood in order to
becoming
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become
show examples
part of their lifestyle and do it without any
forces
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force
show examples
.
Submitted by shabnamoutokesh on

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task achievement
To enhance your task achievement score, ensure that you fully address all parts of the prompt. Your argument should be balanced, providing clear opinions and discussing both sides of the issue, if required by the question. Give direct answers to the questions posed in the task and be sure to support your responses with specific reasons and examples. Avoid generalized statements and make it clear how your examples support your viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on organizing your essay more logically with clearer connections between ideas. Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to show relationships between ideas and paragraphs. Build clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to introduce the main idea, and ensure that the subsequent sentences within that paragraph are well connected and expand upon this idea. Aim to write a more concise yet impactful conclusion that not only summarizes the main points but also restates your position firmly.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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