IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The chart below shows the water levels of 6 cities in Australia in October 2009 and 2010.

The chart below shows the water levels of 6 cities in Australia in October 2009 and 2010.
The chart demonstrates the water
extents
Fix the agreement mistake
extent
show examples
 percentages in 6 cities in Australia commencing from 2009 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, there was an upward trend in the levels of water in Melbourne, Perth, Sydney, and
Canberra
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 Darwin experienced the opposite state. Brisbane was the only city
Correct pronoun usage
that remains
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remains
Wrong verb form
remained
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 static in both
period
Change to a plural noun
periods
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 of time. Sydney and
Canberra
Use synonyms
 were the
tops
Fix the agreement mistake
top
show examples
 2 with nearly reached around 80
percents
Fix the agreement mistake
percent
show examples
 in 2009, followed by Brisbane as the
third,
Linking Words
and Perth along Darwin with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rates approximately 40%. The
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
 water levels was experienced by Melbourne with
figure
Add an article
a figure
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around
Change preposition
of around
show examples
 20%. In 2010,
a develop
Wrong verb form
development
show examples
 increased in four cities, Sydney, Perth, Melbourne, and
Canberra
Use synonyms
, with the highest rank gained by
Canberra
Use synonyms
 reaching around 100%.
While
Linking Words
 Darwin had
receding
Wrong verb form
receded
show examples
 just over a half
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
Brisbane
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 constant with
60
Correct article usage
a 60
show examples
% figure in both years.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words canberra with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remains" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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