IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The chart below shows the water levels of 6 cities in Australia in October 2009 and 2010.

The chart below shows the water levels of 6 cities in Australia in October 2009 and 2010.
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The chart demonstrates the water
extents
Fix the agreement mistake
extent
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 percentages in 6 cities in Australia commencing from 2009 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, there was an upward trend in the levels of water in Melbourne, Perth, Sydney, and
Canberra
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 Darwin experienced the opposite state. Brisbane was the only city
Correct pronoun usage
that remains
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remains
Wrong verb form
remained
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 static in both
period
Change to a plural noun
periods
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 of time. Sydney and
Canberra
Use synonyms
 were the
tops
Fix the agreement mistake
top
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 2 with nearly reached around 80
percents
Fix the agreement mistake
percent
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 in 2009, followed by Brisbane as the
third,
Linking Words
and Perth along Darwin with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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rates approximately 40%. The
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
 water levels was experienced by Melbourne with
figure
Add an article
a figure
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around
Change preposition
of around
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 20%. In 2010,
a develop
Wrong verb form
development
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 increased in four cities, Sydney, Perth, Melbourne, and
Canberra
Use synonyms
, with the highest rank gained by
Canberra
Use synonyms
 reaching around 100%.
While
Linking Words
 Darwin had
receding
Wrong verb form
receded
show examples
 just over a half
and
Correct word choice
apply
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Brisbane
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
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 constant with
60
Correct article usage
a 60
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% figure in both years.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words canberra with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remains" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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