Some people think women should be allowed to koin the army, the Navy and the Air force just like man
Being a part of the military forces is considered to be the highest honour for any individual. Some groups of community tend to think, that males and females are suitable to serve in the military, the Navy and the Air Force. Personally, I think that
women
bring more benefits to being out of the army. The arguments are illustrated in the following paragraphs.
Firstly
, it is well known, that women
Add a verb
women are
women were
skillful
in other areas of life. Change the spelling
skilful
For example
, ladies are appreciated in the educational, healthcare, administrative and management sectors. Their hard and soft skills are highly required in day to day life of the citizens. Thus
, modern women
can fulfil other crucial aspects rather than the military sector.
Secondly
, strenth
is considered to be a vital Correct your spelling
strength
reqirement
to join the combat forces. Another question is to meet those regular standards of strength. Female appearance may not allow them to work in specific military services. Take Correct your spelling
requirement
for example
hard work carrying heavy things, and field jobs in bad weather conditions, which require more effort and manpower. As a
result
Add a comma
result,
women
may not get priority for this
specific reason, as this
a
matter of national security.
In conclusion, I believe that females can afford to serve in other sectors of their lives despite being soldiers in the army force, which Add a missing verb
is a
also
requires a big effort in terms of phisical
attributes and stamina.Correct your spelling
physical
Submitted by 1arkanta on
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task achievement
The essay fails to fully address the question, which asks to discuss the idea of women joining the military forces. Instead of presenting a balanced view or supporting the notion, the essay focuses only on reasons why women should not join, which is a partial response and shows a limited understanding of task requirements.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is confusing, with ideas presented in a way that appears one-sided and disjointed. The introduction should clearly set out the writer's position and outline the main points that will be discussed. Additionally, the main points need to be developed fully with clear topic sentences, and each paragraph should be logically connected to the next with appropriate use of transitions.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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