IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart below shows the percentage od Australian men an women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the percentage od Australian men an women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart above represents the proportion of
Australian
Use synonyms
 men and women who did regular physical activity in 2010. Based on the graph, there are six old
age
Use synonyms
 categories, which are: 15 to 24
years
Use synonyms
 old, 25 to 34, 35 to 44, 45 to 54, 55 to 64, and 65
years
Use synonyms
 old over.
Overall
Linking Words
, the highest rate of
Australian
Use synonyms
 men who did physical exercise from the 15 to 24
years
Use synonyms
 old category was 52.8%, and the lowest rate was from ages 35 to 44, which was only 39.5%.
In contrast
Linking Words
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Australian
Use synonyms
 women
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
had the highest rate from the
age
Use synonyms
 range 45 - 54, as big as 53.3%,
whereas
Linking Words
 the lowest came from the category
age
Use synonyms
 65 and over, which was only 47.1% for that year.
According to
Linking Words
 the graph, the
age
Use synonyms
 category from 35 to 44
years
Use synonyms
 old had a very significantly different proportion between males and females. For more detail, gentlemen who attended physical movement only had 39.5% (which was the lowest proportion among other categories),
while
Linking Words
 females had 52.5%, which is a 13% huge difference range result between them.
In addition
Linking Words
,
Australian
Use synonyms
 men and women aged 65
years
Use synonyms
 above, had a slightly different ratio for those who conduct physical activity,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 they almost have similar percentages around 46.7% and 47.1%.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words australian, age, years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: