IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many developing countries, there is a problem with declining quality of air and water from both industry and construction. what measures could be taken to prevent this.

In recent years, there has been
tremendous
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a tremendous
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 increase in the number of individuals questioning the negative impact of industry and construction in developing countries. One of the main dangers of
this
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 worrying trend is linked to the deteriorating quality of air and
water
Use synonyms
.
However
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, there are solutions readily available to tackle
this
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 issue,
such
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 as the
Use synonyms
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 limiting the harmful wastes produced by the factories.
To begin
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, there is an argument to be made that industry
impaires
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impaired
impairs
 the nature of
water
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 and the
atmospher
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atmosphere
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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third-tier countries.
For example
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, in Sudan, more than
two-third
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two-thirds
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 of the local
citizen
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citizens
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 lack
the
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apply
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access to clean
water
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resources
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due to
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 the exacerbated industrial movement into the country.
For
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this
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 reason, it is evident that these factories produced dangerous toxins
the
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in the
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water
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resources
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 within their area. What is more, different harmful gases and carbon dioxide combustion released from them
contributed
Wrong verb form
contribute
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 to air pollution in the environment.
This
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 being the case, it can be assumed that if
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 industrial
acitivities
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activities
continues
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continue
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 without any restriction,
this
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 would
further
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 damage these vital
resources
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, and lead to catastrophic environmental issues. In order to resolve
this
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 troubling issue, one viable solution would be
the
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for the
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Use synonyms
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 to issue new laws to regulate
the
Correct article usage
apply
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industrial expansion.
For instance
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, in Iraq, local people started
in
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apply
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2022 drinking back from the famous river (Dajla), following
to
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apply
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the
two years
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two-year
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 plan imposed by the
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goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 to restrict any construction in that area.
Therefore
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,
it is clear that
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 local authorities can limit the adverse effects of these industries and rescue many natural
resources
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 from additional contamination.
Furthermore
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, the
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goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 should charge these companies fees for any
wastes
Fix the agreement mistake
waste
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 that they produce,
this
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 will help
decreasing
Wrong verb form
decrease
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 their uncontrolled behaviour. With
this
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 in mind, there is no doubt that if the
Use synonyms
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 sets a resolution plan to control the situation,
this
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 could significantly improve the quality of air and
water
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
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, the overwhelming evidence seems to suggest that the industrial movement caused various harmful consequences
in
Change preposition
to
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 the environment.
However
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, it is still possible to turn the tide by intervention from the
Use synonyms
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 to prevent any
further
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 deterioration.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure logical sequencing of ideas and clear paragraphing. Use cohesive devices accurately and avoid overusing them.
task achievement
Address the task fully, making sure to respond to all parts of the prompt. Ensure that the main ideas are extensively developed and supported by relevant examples.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • pollution control regulations
  • emissions
  • discharges
  • green technology incentives
  • environmentally friendly practices
  • renewable energy sources
  • sustainable materials
  • waste management policies
  • recycling processes
  • environmental monitoring
  • compliance with environmental standards
  • public awareness campaigns
  • environmental protection
  • infrastructure upgrades
  • modern building techniques
  • international environmental organizations
  • air and water quality management
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