IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many developing countries, there is a problem with declining quality of air and water from both industry and construction. what measures could be taken to prevent this.

#countries #quality #air #water #industry #construction #measures
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In recent years, there has been
tremendous
Add an article
a tremendous
show examples
 increase in the number of individuals questioning the negative impact of industry and construction in developing countries. One of the main dangers of
this
 worrying trend is linked to the deteriorating quality of air and
water
.
However
, there are solutions readily available to tackle
this
 issue,
such
 as the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 limiting the harmful wastes produced by the factories.
To begin
, there is an argument to be made that industry
impaires
Correct your spelling
impaired
impairs
 the nature of
water
 and the
atmospher
Correct your spelling
atmosphere
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
third-tier countries.
For example
, in Sudan, more than
two-third
Correct your spelling
two-thirds
show examples
 of the local
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 lack
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
access to clean
water
resources
due to
 the exacerbated industrial movement into the country.
For
this
 reason, it is evident that these factories produced dangerous toxins
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
water
resources
 within their area. What is more, different harmful gases and carbon dioxide combustion released from them
contributed
Wrong verb form
contribute
show examples
 to air pollution in the environment.
This
 being the case, it can be assumed that if
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 industrial
acitivities
Correct your spelling
activities
continues
Correct subject-verb agreement
continue
show examples
 without any restriction,
this
 would
further
 damage these vital
resources
, and lead to catastrophic environmental issues. In order to resolve
this
 troubling issue, one viable solution would be
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 to issue new laws to regulate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
industrial expansion.
For instance
, in Iraq, local people started
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2022 drinking back from the famous river (Dajla), following
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
two years
Correct your spelling
two-year
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 plan imposed by the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 to restrict any construction in that area.
Therefore
,
it is clear that
 local authorities can limit the adverse effects of these industries and rescue many natural
resources
 from additional contamination.
Furthermore
, the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 should charge these companies fees for any
wastes
Fix the agreement mistake
waste
show examples
 that they produce,
this
 will help
decreasing
Wrong verb form
decrease
show examples
 their uncontrolled behaviour. With
this
 in mind, there is no doubt that if the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 sets a resolution plan to control the situation,
this
 could significantly improve the quality of air and
water
.
To conclude
, the overwhelming evidence seems to suggest that the industrial movement caused various harmful consequences
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the environment.
However
, it is still possible to turn the tide by intervention from the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 to prevent any
further
 deterioration.
Submitted by ototonji.ot on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure logical sequencing of ideas and clear paragraphing. Use cohesive devices accurately and avoid overusing them.
task achievement
Address the task fully, making sure to respond to all parts of the prompt. Ensure that the main ideas are extensively developed and supported by relevant examples.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • pollution control regulations
  • emissions
  • discharges
  • green technology incentives
  • environmentally friendly practices
  • renewable energy sources
  • sustainable materials
  • waste management policies
  • recycling processes
  • environmental monitoring
  • compliance with environmental standards
  • public awareness campaigns
  • environmental protection
  • infrastructure upgrades
  • modern building techniques
  • international environmental organizations
  • air and water quality management
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