Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
Sugar
is a major ingredient of numerous food and drink products
witch
if used Correct your spelling
which
in
Change preposition
at
high
level, Correct article usage
a high
it
would bring about inevitable health issues. Correct pronoun usage
apply
due to
this
the cost of these kinds of products
should be increased. I completely disagree with this
statement, as I believe that more effective solutions exist to tackle this
problem and people
can distinguish which foods
are good and adverse.
There is no need to increase the sugary products
' price. These days, the majority of people
in nations know about the detrimental impacts of these products
and in my opinion, it is a personal decision for everyone to what extent have been
consumed Unnecessary verb
apply
foods
and drinks with the
high amount of Correct article usage
a
sugar
. Moreover
, the majority of kids are keen on eating these products
and according to
many investigations, the brain needs to gain a great amount of sugar
in this
phase of life to be able to grow well. Therefore
, such
foods
should be affordable for all families with different range
of income. Fix the agreement mistake
ranges
Consequently
, making high calory
Correct your spelling
high-calorie
products
expensive not only wouldn't be practical, but also
cause poor people
could not afford it to meet their children's necessity
.
Fix the agreement mistake
necessities
Furthermore
, the
myriad of influential actions can be taken to address Correct article usage
a
this
problem. Firstly
, advertisement is a powerful method in order to draw people
's attention and stimulate them by representing the benefits and drawbacks. Hence
, government
could invest in advertising to foster less consumption of Add an article
the government
sugar
. Secondly
, launching awareness
campaign which Correct article usage
an awareness
focus
on the emergence of Change the verb form
focuses
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
Change preposition
of disease
disease
associated with the intake of excessive Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
sugar
. Finally
, several programs can be implemented to improve availability
of Add an article
the availability
low calories
Correct your spelling
low-calorie
foods
and beverages at home. such
as delivering of
bottled water and diet Change preposition
apply
drink
.
In conclusion, I find putting up the cost of sugary Fix the agreement mistake
drinks
products
impractical as individuals entitle
to choose their own lifestyle and Wrong verb form
are entitled
sugar
is essential for the health of youngsters. Some strategies like adverts and founding campaign
can be beneficial to reduce the usage of Fix the agreement mistake
campaigns
sugar
.Submitted by kmibehnaz98 on
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task achievement
You have addressed the task, but there is room for more thorough exploration of the question posed. Your response should more fully explore potential counterarguments and offer a range of supporting details. Ideas could be expressed more comprehensively, ensuring that your position on the topic is abundantly clear throughout the essay. Specific examples should be detailed and directly relevant to support your arguments better.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
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- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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