IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph shows the amount of money spent on book in Germany, France, Italy and Austria between 1995 and 2005.

The graph shows the amount of money spent on book in Germany, France, Italy and Austria between 1995 and 2005.
#amount #money #book #germany #france #austria
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The line graph
depict
Change the verb form
depicts
show examples
 how much
people
Use synonyms
 in Germany, France, Italy and Australia spent their
money
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 on
Use synonyms
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
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 in 1995 and 2005. In general,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 Germany
was
Verb problem
had
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 the highest number of
people
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 who spent their
money
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 on
books
Use synonyms
 from 1995 until 2005 and Austria was the lowest country which spent their
money
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 on
books
Use synonyms
 from 1995 until 2003. A lot of
german
Capitalize word
German
show examples
people
Use synonyms
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
spent their
money
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 on
Use synonyms
Add an article
the book
a book
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book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
 in 2005. Over the period, German
people
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 who buy a
book
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 fluctuated. Its increase in 1999 and dripping in 2003
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
 it was not
significantly
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significant
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 fluctuated has similiarity with
community
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the community
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 in
italy
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Italy
show examples
. The
different
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difference
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 was in 1999
people
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 in
italy
Change the capitalization
Italy
show examples
 who buy
books
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 dripping than before. The country which increased steadily in
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
books
Use synonyms
 was
france
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France
show examples
.
Whereas
Linking Words
,
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of
people
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 in Austria
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
use their
money
Use synonyms
 on
books
Use synonyms
rised
Correct your spelling
rose
since
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1995
untill
Correct your spelling
until
 1999 and steady until 2001
then
Linking Words
massive
Correct article usage
a massive
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 rise until 2005.
Books
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 become important stuff to buy for some
human
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humans
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. We can get big of information through a
book
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. High and low
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 of
people
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 who
use
Verb problem
spend
show examples
 their
money
Use synonyms
 on
books
Use synonyms
, it depends on their needs.
Submitted by oktiviay17 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, money, book, books with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rised" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
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