People feel that educational success is dependent on having a good teacher, others say it depends not the attitude of the student. Discuss both side and state your opinion*

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people think that learning
was
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
basicaly
Correct your spelling
basically
affected by the tutor,
while
other
part
Change the wording
parts
show examples
believe that it can
be change
Change the verb form
be changed
show examples
by the student's
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
. In my eyes, I
also
agree with the latter opinion. Educational success
is depend
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
on the student
than
Rephrase
rather than
show examples
the educating figure. It is a
well known
Add a hyphen
well-known
show examples
truth, that a teacher can guide a student to the bad or to the good. If someone can teach in a proper way, they can simply improve the knowledge and the talent of the learners. Even though
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
this
can be
differ
Replace the word
different
show examples
from the attention they pay to the students, talented teachers can guide their students to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
success because they can understand what their kids are lacking.
For instance
, the famous
srilankan
Correct your spelling
Sri Lankan
athlete Susanthika Jayasinghe was founded by her school coach and she ended up having
a
Change the article
an
show examples
olympic
Change the capitalization
Olympic
show examples
silver medal.
On the other hand
, learning is
also
a
greatest
Correct word choice
great
show examples
responsibility. Students must work hard on their studies.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
educator
Add an article
the educator
an educator
show examples
is well talented, they can not get the best outcome unless
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
they have the support of the learner. If someone
put
Wrong verb form
puts
show examples
their heart
on
Change preposition
into
show examples
something,
that is
when the success begins.
In addition
, it does not matter how perfectly they learned, they must work on their future. Because facing
a
Change the article
an
show examples
exam or an
interviw
Correct your spelling
interview
can not be done by a
proffecer
Correct your spelling
proffer
or a tutor. It must be done by themselves.
For example
, a
well known
Add a hyphen
well-known
show examples
mucision
Correct your spelling
musician
Premasiri
kemadasa
Change the capitalization
Kemadasa
show examples
did not have any tutor, he learned everything by himself and became a legendary musician. In conclusion, teaching someone in a
well
Change the adverb
good
show examples
manner can be very helpful
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
their
Change the word
the
show examples
future. But,
successful
Correct article usage
a successful
show examples
future can not be
acieved
Correct your spelling
achieved
without a
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
.
Moreover
, a person must be responsible
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
their best outcome. It can not
achieve
Wrong verb form
be achieved
show examples
in any other way.
Submitted by darshanadnj20 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay does not follow a clear and logical progression of ideas. To improve, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next with clear topic sentences and concluding statements. Use connective words to guide the reader through the argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but not effectively crafted. Both should clearly state the topic and the writer's position, with the conclusion effectively summarizing the main points discussed. Refine these paragraphs to better anchor your essay.
coherence cohesion
Main points are brought up but are not well-supported or elaborated upon. Illustrate each main point with specific examples, explanations, or evidence to strengthen the argument and provide a deeper understanding of your position.
task achievement
The essay provides a response to the task but deviates at times from the topic. Focus on addressing both sides of the argument comprehensively and remain consistently relevant throughout the essay.
task achievement
Ideas are presented but they lack clarity and comprehensive development. Work on clearly articulating your thoughts, refining your point of view, and fully developing your ideas to make a stronger impact.
task achievement
Appropriate examples are used to support your points. However, ensure the examples are thoroughly explained and clearly connected to your main argument for them to effectively strengthen your position.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: