IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

People feel that educational success is dependent on having a good teacher, others say it depends not the attitude of the student. Discuss both side and state your opinion*

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Some people think that learning
was
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is
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basicaly
Correct your spelling
basically
 affected by the tutor,
while
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 other
part
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parts
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 believe that it can
be change
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be changed
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 by the student's
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
. In my eyes, I
also
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 agree with the latter opinion. Educational success
is depend
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depends
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 on the student
than
Rephrase
rather than
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 the educating figure. It is a
well known
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well-known
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 truth, that a teacher can guide a student to the bad or to the good. If someone can teach in a proper way, they can simply improve the knowledge and the talent of the learners. Even though
,
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apply
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this
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 can be
differ
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different
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 from the attention they pay to the students, talented teachers can guide their students to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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success because they can understand what their kids are lacking.
For instance
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, the famous
srilankan
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Sri Lankan
 athlete Susanthika Jayasinghe was founded by her school coach and she ended up having
a
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an
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olympic
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Olympic
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 silver medal.
On the other hand
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, learning is
also
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 a
greatest
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great
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 responsibility. Students must work hard on their studies.
Although
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,
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apply
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educator
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the educator
an educator
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 is well talented, they can not get the best outcome unless
,
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apply
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 they have the support of the learner. If someone
put
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puts
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 their heart
on
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into
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 something,
that is
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 when the success begins.
In addition
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, it does not matter how perfectly they learned, they must work on their future. Because facing
a
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an
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 exam or an
interviw
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interview
 can not be done by a
proffecer
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proffer
 or a tutor. It must be done by themselves.
For example
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, a
well known
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well-known
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mucision
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musician
 Premasiri
kemadasa
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Kemadasa
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 did not have any tutor, he learned everything by himself and became a legendary musician. In conclusion, teaching someone in a
well
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good
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 manner can be very helpful
on
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in
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their
Change the word
the
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 future. But,
successful
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a successful
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 future can not be
acieved
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achieved
 without a
hardwork
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hard work
.
Moreover
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, a person must be responsible
on
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for
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 their best outcome. It can not
achieve
Wrong verb form
be achieved
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 in any other way.

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coherence cohesion
The essay does not follow a clear and logical progression of ideas. To improve, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next with clear topic sentences and concluding statements. Use connective words to guide the reader through the argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but not effectively crafted. Both should clearly state the topic and the writer's position, with the conclusion effectively summarizing the main points discussed. Refine these paragraphs to better anchor your essay.
coherence cohesion
Main points are brought up but are not well-supported or elaborated upon. Illustrate each main point with specific examples, explanations, or evidence to strengthen the argument and provide a deeper understanding of your position.
task achievement
The essay provides a response to the task but deviates at times from the topic. Focus on addressing both sides of the argument comprehensively and remain consistently relevant throughout the essay.
task achievement
Ideas are presented but they lack clarity and comprehensive development. Work on clearly articulating your thoughts, refining your point of view, and fully developing your ideas to make a stronger impact.
task achievement
Appropriate examples are used to support your points. However, ensure the examples are thoroughly explained and clearly connected to your main argument for them to effectively strengthen your position.
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