The graph shows the amount of money spent on book in Germany, France, Italy and Austria between 1995 and 2005.

The graph shows the amount of money spent on book in Germany, France, Italy and Austria between 1995 and 2005.
The line diagram above shows information about the fluctuation
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
amount
of money spent on
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
in
Germany
,
France
, Italy, and
Austria
since
Change preposition
from
show examples
1995 till 2005. In 1995,
Germany
became
Verb problem
had
show examples
the highest
amount
of money spent on
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
with 8
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
USD
,
France
became
Verb problem
had
show examples
the second highest with 55
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
USD
,
also
Italy
in
Add a missing verb
was in
show examples
third place with 50
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
USD
, and the lowest spent on
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
held by
Austria
with 30
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
USD
.
Then
, in 1997,
Germany
still
Add a missing verb
was still
show examples
in the first position with 85
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
USD
,
while
the
last
place
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
held by
Austria
with 35
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
USD
. In 1999, the
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
amount
of money spent on
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
in
Germany
,
France
, and
Austria
increased,
while
Italy decreased
about
Change preposition
by about
show examples
5
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
USD
.
Then
, in 2001, only
France
and Italy
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased
about
Change preposition
by about
show examples
10
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
for
France
and 7
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
USD
,
while
Germany
decreased to 87
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
USD
and
Austria
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
the exact same number as before.
Then
, in 2003, Italy and
Austria
did great with increases. Especially
Austria
increased to 60
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
USD
and Italy to 59
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
USD
. At the same time,
Germany
still
decreasing
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
to 85
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
USD
and
France
with the same
amount
of number 70
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
USD
.
Lastly
, in 2005, all of them increased.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
Germany
became the highest with 95
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
USD
,
then
France
is in 75
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
USD
,
while
Austria
is in 72
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
USD
, and Italy is in 62
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
USD
.
Submitted by talithanakhwah19 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 82%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words amount, book, germany, france, austria, millions, usd with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: