Write about the following topic: Nowadays we are producing more and more rubbish. Why do you think this is happening? What can governments do to help reduce the amount of rubbish produced? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#topic #rubbish #governments #amount

These days, it is a fact that individuals produce an abundance level of

rubbish

. There are a plethora type of reasons why

this

is happening and what ways governments can tackle

this

issue in the following paragraphs. It is a fact that

rubbish

is created in countless ways where paper, plastic or any tangible products are made or packed.

For example

, many

companies

use paper and cardboard to pack their products in a secure box. The box

also

creates

rubbish

when it is manufactured in different factories.

Hence

this

is one way it can seem

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

how unused things turn to

rubbish

anywhere on the ground. As far as my concern is that all individual

companies

, small shops, restaurants, etc., are one of the motive reasons to produce

rubbish

. Several ways can be applied by the government to minimise the production of

rubbish

Firstly

, the reform scheme should be implemented for people who need a job collecting recycled products and delivering them to recycled manufacturing product

companies

Moreover

, governments should make a strong policy to produce needless

rubbish

which

ruin

Change the verb form

ruins

show examples

the global

atmoshpere

Correct your spelling

atmosphere

and all industrialist follow their command wisely.

Hence

buerocates

Correct your spelling

brocades

contribute to society by minimising the production of garbage. In conclusion, it is a debatable point to reduce mass

rubbish

from the world by reusing

creating

Correct word choice

and creating

show examples

companies

which

also

can help

Change preposition

apply

show examples

governments

Change preposition

with

show examples

this

issue.

Submitted by patelhardik2199 on Thu Jan 04 2024

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Structural and Logical Development

The essay requires a clearer structure with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and logically connected sentences.

Cohesion

The use of cohesive devices, such as transition words and phrases, needs to be improved for better flow of ideas.

Task Achievement and Development of Ideas

The body paragraphs should be developed with clear and comprehensive points. Avoid vague statements and generalize less, include more specific examples to support your points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

228 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

consumerism
sustainability
landfill
recycle
single-use products
waste management
regulatory measures
composting
biodegradable
environmental impact
incentives
sustainable practices
circular economy
zero waste
responsibility

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