The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In
this
contemporary century, some scientists think improving people's lives stantard is extremely important for
earth's
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the earth's
show examples
residents, and I
frimly
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firmly
believe
enhencing
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enhancing
living quantily
allow
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allows
show examples
people
be
Add the particle
to be
show examples
more satisfied and
influnence
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influences
them largely, which
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
tremendous benefits for having
fantasity
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fantasised
lives. First of all, some
induviduals perfer
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individuals prefer
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to stay
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stay
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staying
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in a
morden
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modern
city to
rural
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a rural
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town, because being a citizen provides numerous
improvments
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improvements
in different
accpects
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aspects
, unlike living in a small town, which doesn't give a lot
work
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of work
show examples
opportunities and high education.
For example
, in Taipei, there are around 20
universites
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universities
and colleges
locating in
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located
show examples
there, since most Taipei citizens can get
in
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to
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the universities more
convenient
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conveniently
show examples
because of the short distances.
Furthermore
, some companies have
strong
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a strong
show examples
connection with
collages
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colleges
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, since students are allowed to gain more opportunities of getting a job with high salaries.
Additionally
, improving people's lives
mean
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means
show examples
they obtain more happiness than before, the reason why
business men
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businessmen
show examples
having
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have
show examples
high living quailties is because their wealth
support
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supports
show examples
them
to do
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in doing
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some leisure activities, through these events let them to
acommplish
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accomplish
some things that
noremal
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normal
person
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people
show examples
can not.
For instance
, some
sucessful
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successful
person
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people
show examples
have
habit
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a habit
the habit
show examples
of playing golf, which is a chill sport
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that lead
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lead
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leads
show examples
them to reduce their
stresses
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stress
show examples
so that improving
life style
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lifestyle
show examples
definitely
leap
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lead
show examples
a
person
into a better mood. In summary, I agree that most residents
getting
Verb problem
have
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
aim of upgrading their lifestyle hugely ,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
which is
also
a challenging goal
encourage
Fix the infinitive
to encourage
show examples
a
person
to be more
sucessful
Correct your spelling
successful
.
Moreover
, if every
folks
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folk
show examples
forward
to
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apply
show examples
this
direction proactively, every
students
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student
show examples
,
children
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child
show examples
,
as well as
workers's thoughts would be more positive, and lead
this
world to be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better way.
Submitted by binyang212 on

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task achievement
Your essay demonstrates some alignment with the topic, but you need to specifically address the extent to which you agree or disagree throughout the essay more explicitly. Your position should be clear in the introduction and reiterated in the conclusion for maximum impact.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has an identifiable structure, yet it suffers from grammatical inaccuracies and awkward phrasing that can cause confusion. To improve coherence, use clear and precise signposting language to connect your ideas smoothly. Also, pay attention to your sentence structure to enhance readability.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
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