IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Write a reply to Sara. In your email, you have to describe Manchester and the weather there, tell her about your part-time job, the family you are staying with, and your activities in the evening, and finally you have to write about your English classes there

#sara #email #manchester #weather #job #activities #english #classes
Dear Sara,
It’s
 great to hear from you.
It’s
 good I can be in Manchester now for my
English
 study. Yes, I really like Manchester, which is a great city for me. The people there are very friendly and enthusiastic. I really like the weather because
it’s
 cold most of the time. I’m still working at the fast-food restaurant in the evenings and at weekends.
It’s
 good because I can practise my
English
 every day with so many people. The family I live with are very happy and cheerful, they always encourage me to learn
English
 well to facilitate my future work. I spend all day studying and working, so I rarely go out in the evening. I often watch a movie or chat with my family and friends via Facebook. And
finally
, my
English
 classes are still very good, the teachers are very enthusiastic and supportive of the learners. Thanks for your care and hope to see you soon. Sincerely, Le Huy Gia Hoang
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
Your letter contains a clear logical structure, with paragraphs and some linking devices, but you could improve the organisation by creating more defined paragraphs, as two main topics are merged into one paragraph in places, and introducing more varied cohesive devices.
Task Achievement
The response addresses all the bullet points but could be improved if you elaborated more on each point. For instance, giving specific examples of activities you enjoy in Manchester or describing your part-time job in more detail would have made your letter more complete.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!