In many parts of the world, some famous people are regarded as ‘role models' and they are having an increasing influence on the young. Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Nowadays, many celebrities and influencers inspire adolescents towards their careers and
life
. It is a positive trend for many youngsters to admire famous Fix the agreement mistake
lives
people
who bring positive impacts and life
lessons.
Looking up to successful people
as role models can motivate young people
to become a better version of themselves. Maudy Ayunda, an Indonesian actress, singer, and influencer, is a great example of balancing a successful entertainment career with pursuing education at Ivy League universities. Her story can inspire younger generations to achieve their dreams and reach their potential.
Following famous people
can have a positive impact on teenagers as they can learn from their life
stories, including their failures. It is evident that public figures do not achieve success overnight and often face challenges in their lives. For instance
, Jennie Lee had to work hard for over ten years to become an idol trainee before finally
debuting as a member of Blackpink, the highest-paid K-pop idol group. Her perseverance in achieving her goal may inspire many teenagers to overcome challenges and get back up when facing failure in life
.
In conclusion, a famous person can be a good illustration and bring positive impacts, inspiring many adolescents. Moreover
, youngsters need to understand the importance of role models in their careers and take a good example from these public figures.Submitted by 1244355479 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body and conclusion. The introduction and conclusion could be more explicit in outlining your main arguments and summarising them, respectively.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to use a variety of linking words and cohesive devices to ensure your essay flows well and ideas are logically organized.
coherence cohesion
In your body paragraphs, support your main points with more detailed examples. Try to elaborate on how these examples are relevant to the argument you are making.
task achievement
Ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the prompt. While you have generally met the task requirement, you could develop a more nuanced argument by considering both positive and negative aspects.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear, but they can be further developed. Aim to present a more comprehensive exploration of why famous role models can have a positive influence, possibly by comparing with potential negative influences.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your claims. The mention of Maudy Ayunda and Jennie Lee are good, but try to delve deeper into how their influence specifically guides and shapes the behaviors or decisions of the youth.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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