Your English-speaking friend who lives in your town has asked for your advice about learning a new sport. Write an email to your friend. In your email - recommend a new sport that would be suitable for your friend to learn - explain how your friend could learn this sport - suggest that you both learn this sport together.

Dear Olivia, I had read your email
last
night.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
that
email
Add a comma
email,
show examples
you
have been asking
Wrong verb form
asked
show examples
me
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for suggestion
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suggestion
Fix the agreement mistake
suggestions
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about
tried
Wrong verb form
trying
show examples
to find a new
sport
for us. I have one
recommendation
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recommended
show examples
sport
for us
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
softball
sport
. Softball is a
sport
that came from Japan. I think it can suit us since we have a good skill like running
with
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at
show examples
high speed. In
thi
Correct your spelling
these
conditions
Add a comma
conditions,
show examples
I know a place
were
Correct your spelling
where
show examples
we can learn
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
sports as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
begginers
Correct your spelling
beginners
beginner
. The location is in Gelora Bung Karno and the exact place is in
Softball
Correct article usage
the Softball
show examples
building near
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Gate 5. I already
search
Wrong verb form
searched
show examples
about how to apply
this
kind of
sport
. I asked them on their social media and they said just go straight to the building, they have staff who
standby
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stand by
show examples
infront
Correct your spelling
in front
of the
enterance
Correct your spelling
entrance
. I hope you will like my advice and let me know your excitement
to
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about
show examples
joining
this
new
sports
Fix the agreement mistake
sport
show examples
with
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by
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calling me
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on by
show examples
by
Correct your spelling
my
show examples
mobilephone
Correct your spelling
mobile phone
. See you
Olivia
Add the comma(s)
, Olivia
show examples
. Your Dearest friend, Anna.
Submitted by ieltswriting91 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance your response, ensure that your essay is well-organized, following a clear and logical structure. Begin with an introduction, followed by separate paragraphs for each of the three bulleted points given in the task, and conclude with a short summary or final suggestion. This organization will make your essay easier to follow and understand.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction should clearly address the task with a proper greeting and a brief mention of the purpose of the email. The conclusion should provide a restatement or summary of your suggestions, coupled with a final statement expressing anticipation or hope for a positive outcome. Remembering to include both an introductory and concluding statement will improve your score.
Task Achievement
Elaborate on each point with sufficient detail. For each of the bulleted tasks, provide relevant and specific information. For example, explain why softball is suitable, detail the learning process, and discuss the benefits of learning it together. Adding more examples and details will give your essay depth and support your main points more thoroughly.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use full sentences and correct grammar to express your ideas. Short, choppy sentences can detract from the cohesion of your essay. Aim for complex sentence structures where appropriate, as they will add sophistication to your writing and improve the flow of ideas.
Task Achievement
While your response does mention the required points, it is important to develop your ideas more comprehensively. Provide clear explanations for your recommendations, describe the learning process in more detail, and elaborate on the suggestion to learn the sport together. A more complete and detailed response will enhance your score.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • advice
  • recommend
  • suitable
  • learn
  • coach
  • lessons
  • tutorial videos
  • practice
  • tennis club
  • group
  • schedule
  • regularly
  • participants
  • tournaments
  • friendly matches
What to do next:
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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