Your English-speaking friend who lives in your town has asked for your advice about learning a new sport. Write an email to your friend. In your email - recommend a new sport that would be suitable for your friend to learn - explain how your friend could learn this sport - suggest that you both learn this sport together.

#friend #lives #town #advice #sport #email

Dear Olivia, I had read your email

last

night.

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show examples

that

Add a comma

email,

show examples

you

have been asking

Wrong verb form

asked

show examples

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for suggestion

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suggestion

Fix the agreement mistake

suggestions

show examples

about

tried

Wrong verb form

trying

show examples

to find a new

sport

for us. I have one

recommendation

Replace the word

recommended

show examples

sport

for us

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

softball

sport

. Softball is a

sport

that came from Japan. I think it can suit us since we have a good skill like running

with

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high speed. In

thi

Correct your spelling

these

conditions

Add a comma

conditions,

show examples

I know a place

were

Correct your spelling

where

show examples

we can learn

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

sports as

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

begginers

Correct your spelling

beginners

beginner

. The location is in Gelora Bung Karno and the exact place is in

Softball

Correct article usage

the Softball

show examples

building near

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Gate 5. I already

Wrong verb form

searched

show examples

about how to apply

this

kind of

sport

. I asked them on their social media and they said just go straight to the building, they have staff who

standby

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stand by

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infront

Correct your spelling

in front

of the

enterance

Correct your spelling

entrance

. I hope you will like my advice and let me know your excitement

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about

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joining

this

new

sports

Fix the agreement mistake

sport

show examples

with

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calling me

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on by

show examples

Correct your spelling

show examples

mobilephone

Correct your spelling

mobile phone

. See you

Olivia

Add the comma(s)

, Olivia

show examples

. Your Dearest friend, Anna.

Submitted by ieltswriting91 on Thu Jan 04 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

To enhance your response, ensure that your essay is well-organized, following a clear and logical structure. Begin with an introduction, followed by separate paragraphs for each of the three bulleted points given in the task, and conclude with a short summary or final suggestion. This organization will make your essay easier to follow and understand.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your introduction should clearly address the task with a proper greeting and a brief mention of the purpose of the email. The conclusion should provide a restatement or summary of your suggestions, coupled with a final statement expressing anticipation or hope for a positive outcome. Remembering to include both an introductory and concluding statement will improve your score.

Task Achievement

Elaborate on each point with sufficient detail. For each of the bulleted tasks, provide relevant and specific information. For example, explain why softball is suitable, detail the learning process, and discuss the benefits of learning it together. Adding more examples and details will give your essay depth and support your main points more thoroughly.

Coherence & Cohesion

Use full sentences and correct grammar to express your ideas. Short, choppy sentences can detract from the cohesion of your essay. Aim for complex sentence structures where appropriate, as they will add sophistication to your writing and improve the flow of ideas.

Task Achievement

While your response does mention the required points, it is important to develop your ideas more comprehensively. Provide clear explanations for your recommendations, describe the learning process in more detail, and elaborate on the suggestion to learn the sport together. A more complete and detailed response will enhance your score.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

164 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

advice
recommend
suitable
learn
coach
lessons
tutorial videos
practice
tennis club
group
schedule
regularly
participants
tournaments
friendly matches

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Fully explain your ideas

International tourism has brought enormous benefit to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the disadvantages?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Some people think that museum should be enjoyable place to entertain people while others believe that the purpose of them is to educate.discuss both views and give your opinion..

Some people think that spending a lot on holding wedding parties, birthday parties and other celebrations is just a waste of money. Others, however, think that these are necessary for individuals and the society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.