IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

‘Children do not respect their parents as much as they did in the past. This behaviour is now having a negative impact on society.’ Discuss. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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It is normal for
children
Use synonyms
 to disrespect
Use synonyms
parents
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
show examples
today
Use synonyms
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 in past,
Linking Words
this
Correct word choice
and this
show examples
 situation spreads negativity in the community. With
this
Linking Words
 developing era, where everything is a click away; traditional and cultural values are
getting faded
Verb problem
fading
show examples
 and
children
Use synonyms
 are most
effected
Correct your spelling
affected
show examples
due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 which leaves
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
show examples
 society in chaos. One questions the thoughts of
children
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
what made them behave like
this
Linking Words
 ?
Firstly
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
today
Use synonyms
 are more exposed to the vast media and do not consider their
parents
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 as
knowledgeful
Correct your spelling
knowledgeable
show examples
. Youngsters
today
Use synonyms
 spend maximum time on social media where everything is available irrespective of the content and limitations involved.
This
Linking Words
 kind of exposure has enabled a sense of know-it-all in them, ultimately causing a clash of opinion between a parent and child.
For instance
Linking Words
, a teen in Chicago
filled
Correct your spelling
filed
show examples
 a complaint against
mother
Correct pronoun usage
their mother
his mother
her mother
show examples
 for stopping him from playing late.
Such
Linking Words
 news came as a shock for the neighbourhood and gave
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
leverage to other
children
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 to do the same against their
parents
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, disrespecting
parents
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 has become a style and coolness among
this
Linking Words
 generation, it has become a way of talking. Showing kindness towards them is outdated and a pitiful act for them.
However
Linking Words
, in past,
children
Use synonyms
 used to go
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 extra mile for their
Use synonyms
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
show examples
 happiness and
this
Linking Words
 used to set some high examples for others to follow. It was taught in schools to show love and care for
parents
Use synonyms
 who brought them up and
nortured
Correct your spelling
nurtured
tortured
nurture
 them.
For example
Linking Words
, a survey concluded that past generations had out-performed in
acedemia
Correct your spelling
academia
as well as
Linking Words
 personality development tests
while
Linking Words
 present
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 unable to achieve
bare
Correct article usage
the bare
show examples
 minimum.
This
Linking Words
 proves how important is a
parent child
Add a hyphen
parent-child
show examples
 relation full of respect
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the child's
overall
Linking Words
 growth and development. In conclusion, as compared to the previous generations,
Use synonyms
today
Change noun form
today's
show examples
children
Use synonyms
disrepect
Correct your spelling
disrespect
 their
parents
Use synonyms
 and leave a society full of negativity.
Openess
Correct your spelling
Openness
 of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 and new trends have brought
this
Linking Words
 on and it is important to put some emphasis on cancelling
such
Linking Words
 behaviour by different means of counselling and coaching.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a logical structure by presenting ideas in a more organized manner, each in its own body paragraph with clear topic sentences and concluding statements.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of cohesive devices appropriately to help the essay flow better and to clearly show the relationship between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Use more complex sentence structures and a wider range of vocabulary to articulate ideas more precisely and appropriately.
task achievement
Fully respond to all parts of the task by discussing both sides of the issue, or providing a more nuanced argument with a clear opinion, and make sure the conclusion is consistent with the body paragraphs.
task achievement
Develop ideas more comprehensively by expanding explanations and providing more detailed examples that are directly relevant to the topic.
task achievement
You may want to include more specific examples and references to everyday life, current events, studies or literary works to substantiate the argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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