Money should be spent on creating new buildings such as museums or town halls rather than renovating the existing one. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Constucted
new Correct your spelling
Constructed
Construct
buildings
such
as museums or town halls from government
budget Correct article usage
the government
is
better compared with Change the verb form
are
maintain
the existing Change the verb form
maintaining
one
. I disagree with Correct pronoun usage
ones
this
point of view, and on
Change preposition
in
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
i
will explain why with several supporting opinions.
In terms of Change the capitalization
I
develop
new Change the verb form
developing
building
, there are a Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
lot
things
Change preposition
of things
should
Correct pronoun usage
that should
consider
. Wrong verb form
be considered
Firstly
, build
new museums or town halls Wrong verb form
building
is need
a Wrong verb form
needs
lot
of investment. As we know that
the available land in the city is currently limited, Correct word choice
apply
therefore
the price of the land getting more expensive. Moreover
, make
new Wrong verb form
making
buildings
required
Wrong verb form
requires
a
tight planning, Correct article usage
apply
such
as building permit
, architecture planning, electricity Change the form of the verb
permits
line
Fix the agreement mistake
lines
and
etc. All of those Correct word choice
apply
preparation
Fix the agreement mistake
preparations
also
need a lot
of cost. Secondly
, build
Wrong verb form
building
new
building is a long-term plan and Add an article
a new
need
a Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
lot
of time, to build museums or town hall
need 2 years minimum until Fix the agreement mistake
halls
its
done. Replace the word
it's
it is
As a consequence
, the surrounding areas also
may impacted, such
as pollution and disturbance. To illustrate, in Jakarta, government
Correct article usage
the government
build
Wrong verb form
built
new
stadium, but Add an article
a new
this
project bring
several drawbacks to the Wrong verb form
brought
inhabitats
and some of them are relocated.
Regarding Correct your spelling
inhabitants
mantaining
the existing building, Correct your spelling
maintaining
this
idea is more sustainable. Renovating old buildings
are
more affordable and Correct subject-verb agreement
is
low
effort. The existing Correct word choice
requires less
buildings
are mostly have a
strong foundations and Correct article usage
apply
pillar
, small Fix the agreement mistake
pillars
renovation
Fix the agreement mistake
renovations
in
several Change preposition
at
point
of the building can more efficient. Change to a plural noun
points
Furthermore
, old buildings
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
it
own Correct pronoun usage
their
achitecture
style and history, so Correct your spelling
architecture
architectural
keep
Wrong verb form
keeping
it
in Correct pronoun usage
them
original
look could give a Correct pronoun usage
its original
uniqeness
and as a landmark. Correct your spelling
uniqueness
For instance
, in Jogjakarta, there are several places that
we can Correct word choice
where
found
Wrong verb form
find
an
well-maintain old building, Change the article
a
it
all because Correct pronoun usage
apply
this building
is one of the Fix the agreement mistake
these buildings
landmark
and Fix the agreement mistake
landmarks
acttract
Correct your spelling
attract
attracts
tourist
.
In conclusion, Change to a plural noun
tourists
build
new Wrong verb form
building
buildings
are costly and wasting time, meanwhile maitaning
existing Correct your spelling
maintaining
buildings
are
easier and low cost. I, Correct subject-verb agreement
is
therefore
, remain firmly convinced that money should be used for
take care of the old Change preposition
to
buildings
compared to make
a new one.Wrong verb form
making
Submitted by 2024successielts on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
When addressing the topic, ensure that you provide a clear opinion on the statement and continue to support this throughout the essay. Although the essay covers the topic, the argument could benefit from a more explicit and consistent stance from the introduction through to the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct main idea. While the essay has recognizable paragraphs, transitioning between them could be smoother. Also, make sure that each paragraph logically follows from the one before it to ensure a coherent flow.
coherence cohesion
Proofread your work for grammatical errors and clarity. Ensuring your essay is free from repeated grammatical errors will greatly improve its coherence. Additionally, use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance readability and effectiveness of the argument.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!