People feel that educational success is dependent on having a good teacher, others say it depends not the attitude of the student. Discuss both side and state your opinion*
High-quality human resources in a country are a result of successful education.
Moreover
, effective teaching and learning activities can significantly enhance the success rate of education. Therefore
, the presence of an educator figure is extremely necessary to make it happen.
On the one hand
, many people believe that experienced teachers have the potential to create an engaging learning process. For instance
, teachers who have mastered effective teaching methods will find it easier to stimulate their students
' understanding of the teaching materials. Furthermore
, competent instructors might create a classroom environment that ensures students
are more active in acquiring knowledge.
On the other
hand
, learner behaviour can also
affect educational progress. However
, attitude is the primary lesson that must be taught to the students
. For example
, proper students
have an inclination to think in a structured way, so it will be more convenient to obtain knowledge in the learning process.
As far as i
can tell, educational success in a holistic way can be achieved by having an adequate teacher figure who possesses proficiency in their field, and learners with good behaviour to create a more effective learning and teaching process.
in conclusion, Change the capitalization
I
a high-grade instructors
with the capability to teach effectively can increase the percentage of educational success, and Correct the article-noun agreement
high-grade instructors
a high-grade instructor
students
with polite behaviour are a primary goal of education. These two aspects go hand
in hand
, contributing to the development of high-quality human resources.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows logically to the next. Use transitional phrases effectively to maintain coherence.
coherence cohesion
Include an introduction and conclusion which clearly state the essay topic and your position, respectively. Your essay displays these elements but could benefit from a more concise expression of your stance.
coherence cohesion
Support main points with specific examples or evidence for greater impact. While you have attempted this, the examples given are somewhat vague and could be more explicitly linked to the argument.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task. You have done so sufficiently by discussing both sides of the argument and giving a clear opinion, but ensure that equal attention is given to both sides for balanced discussion.
task achievement
Express ideas clearly and expand upon them to fully convey your perspective. You have provided an overview of each viewpoint, but further expansion and depth would strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Provide relevant and specific examples to support your ideas. The examples in this essay are broad and generic. Including more tailored and detailed instances could strengthen your position.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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