Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #university #college #route #career #job #school

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In order to have a

brigther

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better

future, some

people

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argued

Wrong verb form

argue

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that it can be achieved from high education

while

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other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

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from working directly after finishing high

school

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. Having a higher education degree

offer

Correct subject-verb agreement

offers

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professional qualifications and networking opportunities. Meanwhile, having a

job

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after studying in senior high

school

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also

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can be beneficial for earning money and gaining

experiences

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experience

show examples

This

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essay will discuss more about both opposing views based on the writer’s opinion.

To begin

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with, going to college is the best way

for enhancing

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to enhance

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the quality and ability of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

university students. By gaining a better level of

study

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the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

university graduates can have the opportunity to get a professional certificate based on the special field of

study

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which is very useful for having a better

job

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. To exemplify

this

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, getting a degree certificate

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show examples

accounting

study

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helps

people

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to work in a bank or administration office because they already have the required

skills

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for being an accountant. Not only does it offer a specific skill, gaining experiences, internship and organization,

Correct word choice

but in

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university can nurture students’ real work experience and offer opportunities to establish networking in the industry.

On the other hand

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, looking for a

job

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also

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becomes the best option for fulfilling

people

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's needs. Many

people

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choose to find a

job

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when they finish their studies in high

school

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instead

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of continuing to

study

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because they want to earn money to support their

life

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lives

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. Not only does it benefit in earning money, but

also

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apply

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working in the industry can help

people

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to improve their abilities of a specific skill

such

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as managing time, teamwork and other professional

skills

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like writing reports and public speaking.

For example

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apply

show examples

working in

different

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the different

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division

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divisions

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might

be fostering

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foster

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people

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people's

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experience of leadership and

team-communication

Correct your spelling

team communication

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skills

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. All in all, the writer totally believes that the way to be a more successful person in the future can be getting from either higher education or working

straightly

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straight

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after studying in high

school

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. As long as they can take the opportunity

for gaining

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to gain

show examples

experience to enhance their not only basic

skills

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but

also

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professional

skills

Use synonyms

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Thu Jan 04 2024

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task achievement

When addressing the task response aspect, ensure that the ideas are fully developed with clear explanations that demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic. There should be an equal treatment of both views before giving a reasoned opinion based on the discussion to achieve a higher score.

coherence cohesion

Your essay shows some logical structure, but there's room for improvement. Make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea, and that ideas flow logically from one to the next with effective use of cohesive devices. This will enhance the essay's overall readability and coherence.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be strengthened. The introductory paragraph should more clearly set the stage for the discussion by paraphrasing the prompt and stating the topics that will be discussed and why. The conclusion should succinctly sum up the discussed points and reiterate your opinion without introducing new information.

coherence cohesion

Support your main points with specific, relevant examples. While you've provided some examples, these need to be developed further. Examples help to illustrate your points and make your argument more convincing. Providing concrete examples will strengthen your essay and provide a clearer picture for the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

350 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Academic qualifications
Specialized skills
In-depth knowledge
Personal growth
Social development
Practical experience
Financial independence
Career progression
Professional networking
Education
Work experience
Successful career
Personal interests
Career goals
Decision-making process

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Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

In today's world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?

In country where there is a high unemployment, most pupils should be offered only primary education. There is no point in offering secondary education to those who will have no hop of finding a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people who care for the elderly do not have enugh time to look after them. What are the problems related to this? What are some possible solutions?