Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In order to have a
brigther
future, some Correct your spelling
better
people
argued
that it can be achieved from high education Wrong verb form
argue
while
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
is
from working directly after finishing high Correct subject-verb agreement
are
school
. Having a higher education degree offer
professional qualifications and networking opportunities. Meanwhile, having a Correct subject-verb agreement
offers
job
after studying in senior high school
also
can be beneficial for earning money and gaining experiences
. Fix the agreement mistake
experience
This
essay will discuss more about both opposing views based on the writer’s opinion.
To begin
with, going to college is the best way for enhancing
the quality and ability of Change preposition
to enhance
the
university students. By gaining a better level of Correct article usage
apply
study
, the
university graduates can have the opportunity to get a professional certificate based on the special field of Correct article usage
apply
study
which is very useful for having a better job
. To exemplify this
, getting a degree certificate of
accounting Change preposition
in
study
helps people
to work in a bank or administration office because they already have the required skills
for being an accountant. Not only does it offer a specific skill, gaining experiences, internship and organization, in
university can nurture students’ real work experience and offer opportunities to establish networking in the industry.
Correct word choice
but in
On the other hand
, looking for a job
also
becomes the best option for fulfilling people
's needs. Many people
choose to find a job
when they finish their studies in high school
instead
of continuing to study
because they want to earn money to support their life
. Not only does it benefit in earning money, but Fix the agreement mistake
lives
also
by
working in the industry can help Change preposition
apply
people
to improve their abilities of a specific skill such
as managing time, teamwork and other professional skills
like writing reports and public speaking. For example
, by
working in Change preposition
apply
different
Add an article
the different
division
might Fix the agreement mistake
divisions
be fostering
Wrong verb form
foster
people
experience of leadership and Change noun form
people's
team-communication
Correct your spelling
team communication
skills
.
All in all, the writer totally believes that the way to be a more successful person in the future can be getting from either higher education or working straightly
after studying in high Rephrase
straight
school
. As long as they can take the opportunity for gaining
experience to enhance their not only basic Change preposition
to gain
skills
but also
professional skills
.Submitted by misstiasclassroom on
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task achievement
When addressing the task response aspect, ensure that the ideas are fully developed with clear explanations that demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic. There should be an equal treatment of both views before giving a reasoned opinion based on the discussion to achieve a higher score.
coherence cohesion
Your essay shows some logical structure, but there's room for improvement. Make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea, and that ideas flow logically from one to the next with effective use of cohesive devices. This will enhance the essay's overall readability and coherence.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be strengthened. The introductory paragraph should more clearly set the stage for the discussion by paraphrasing the prompt and stating the topics that will be discussed and why. The conclusion should succinctly sum up the discussed points and reiterate your opinion without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with specific, relevant examples. While you've provided some examples, these need to be developed further. Examples help to illustrate your points and make your argument more convincing. Providing concrete examples will strengthen your essay and provide a clearer picture for the reader.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.