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Band 5

Last month you had a holiday overseas where you stayed with some friends. They have just sent you some photos of your holiday. Write a letter to your friends. In your letter, thank them for the photos and the holiday explain why you didn't write earlier invite them to come and stay with you

#month #holiday #friends #photos
Dear Malika Hope you are doing great . I am writing
this
 letter to express my thanks and appreciation for the remarkable holiday
as well as
lovely
Correct article usage
the lovely
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 photos which you sent me yesterday New York is certainly a spectacular country, especially
in
Change preposition
at
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 Christmas with an extraordinary decoration,
enormous
Correct word choice
and enormous
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 Christmas
tree
Fix the agreement mistake
trees
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 which attract a lot of attention with
own
Correct pronoun usage
its own
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beaty
Correct your spelling
beauty
 and friendly residents. The holiday is over , but I will cherish
this
 memory forever . Because
my
Change preposition
of my
show examples
 work , I can not write back and thank you earlier .Almost as soon as I landed back in Bukhara , I was extremely busy with
regain
Wrong verb form
regaining
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momentum at work and at home . I would like to invite you to visit Bukhara .
Also
 , I will celebrate my
24 th
Correct your spelling
24th
 birthday after
month
Correct article usage
a month
show examples
 , and I expect you on
this
 special occasion. I will take you to some of the ancient, historical places in my city including Minaret Kalyan , Labi House
as well as
 Moxi Xosa which have a lot of rooms
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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decorated with vibrant
colors
Change the spelling
colours
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 and ornaments . I am sure you will enjoy your time here . I would
Add a missing verb
be
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happy to see you again. I hope you will give me the chance to return your kindness. Warm wishes Dilnoza
Submitted by ina1_95 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on establishing a clear logical structure throughout the letter; each paragraph should have a clear purpose and flow naturally into the next.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that you use a suitable greeting and sign off in a letter format, which you did adequately.
coherence cohesion
Maintain one central idea per paragraph for clarity and improved cohesion. Avoid merging multiple topics in one paragraph.
task achievement
Fully address all bullet points listed in the task ensuring a complete response to each part.
task achievement
Maintain an appropriate tone throughout the letter, a mix of formal and informal, that is suited to writing to friends, which you managed well.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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