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Writing Samples
Band 6

The pie charts illustrate the amount of compression about different kinds of energy production in France in two years.

The pie charts illustrate the amount of compression about different kinds of energy production in France in two years.
The
pie
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 charts illustrate the amount of compression
about
Change preposition
of
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 different kinds of
energy
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production
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 in France in two years.
Overall
Linking Words
, it’s crystal clear that the charts show and give information about the 1995 and 2005 comparisons of
energy
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productions
Fix the agreement mistake
production
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. The charts made up the difference in percentages between 1995 and 2005. Getting back to the details in 1995’s
energy
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production
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pie
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chart
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. The gas
energy
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production
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 was almost 29
percent
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per cent
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; the second highest
energy
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production
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 was coal, which was approximately 29
percent
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per cent
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, these two important
energy
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 productions almost take up half of the
chart
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. The other nuclear, petrol, and other parts accounted for the other half; they were 6.40, 29.27, and 4.90 percentages, respectively. As the second
pie
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chart
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suggested
Wrong verb form
suggests
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, the majority of
energy
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production
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 came from coal. The other two minor
energy
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 productions were gasses and petrol sources, which formed 30.31 and 19.55
percentages
Replace the word
per cent
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, respectively. As can be seen from the
pie
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chart
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, the lowest
energy
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production
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 was made up of the other parts; it was nearly 9
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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.

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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words pie, energy, production, chart with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrate" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 7 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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