Some people believe that it is the best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try an improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give our own opinion.
There is no denying the fact that try to gain a lot of money by
work
Wrong verb form
working
on
a bad situation several Change preposition
in
people
think about it. While
it is a commonly held belief that nowadays many people
want to do anything such
as unusual
job, there is Correct article usage
an unusual
also
an argument that doing the better
Correct word choice
best
make
a magnificent life. Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
This
essay will analyse this
topic from both points of view and express my opinion.
On the one hand, we want to do a huge job to make a lot of money and people
believe that bad jobs
are useful for them. In other words
, they are
thinking, they will be able to Unnecessary verb
apply
do
an amazing experience and have thought do more get more. Verb problem
have
In addition
, in fact
Add a comma
fact,
jobs
expand knowledge, skills
and increase the Correct word choice
and skills
confident
to learn system‘s Replace the word
confidence
Jobs
. For example
, if we note an unknown company the workers have been doing all
Correct determiner usage
apply
the
best, but occasionally, they Change the word
their
not
find what they run to get it.
Add a missing verb
do not
In
the other hand, the argument makes different Change preposition
On
option
for us when we think by our conscious. It is Fix the agreement mistake
options
also
possible to say that splendid jobs
our
dream Add a missing verb
are our
all
Change preposition
for all
people
. As well as
, high training it helps people
to develop their experience not only that but also
establish a gorgeous generation. Moreover
, some opportunities and circumstances apply a crucial steps
for us, all employers need Correct the article-noun agreement
crucial steps
a crucial step
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
this
, and it will change all thinking life
. Change preposition
in life
For instance
, advanced companies apply ensure
care and high Wrong verb form
ensured
recommended
for education not only these, but they do Replace the word
recommendations
to
improve both the workers and Fix the infinitive
apply
company
as Armco company is
Cosmopolitan and vibrant.
In conclusion, there are no easy answers to Correct article usage
the company
this
question. On balance, however
, I tend to believe that weeks people
search with
the bad Change preposition
for
situation
and stronger Fix the agreement mistake
situations
people
do all
Correct determiner usage
apply
the
great to find the best Change the word
their
on
the end.Change preposition
in
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structure
The essay does not have a clear organizational pattern. Sentences and paragraphs should logically flow from one to the next, and ideas should be sequenced in a way that makes sense to the reader.
introduction/conclusion
An effective introduction and conclusion are necessary. Your introduction should clearly present the topic and your thesis, while the conclusion should summarize your points and restate your thesis without repeating it verbatim.
support
Main points must be developed with clear explanations and relevant examples. Make sure each paragraph has one clear main idea with supporting sentences that directly relate to that idea.
task response
Responses should directly address the task prompt and completely answer all parts of the question. Make sure to understand the question fully and to stay on topic throughout your essay.
clarity
Your ideas need to be stated more clearly, keeping in mind the structure of the essay. Include a more detailed explanation of concepts and consider sharpening your thesis statement.
examples
Specific examples are crucial to illustrate your points. Use more detailed and direct examples, and connect them back to the argument you are making.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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