In many countries today there are many highly qualified graduates without employment. What factors, may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, should be done about it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays, many
best graduating
Add a hyphen
best-graduating
show examples
students are facing difficulties in finding a
job
. The writer identifies that limited
job
opportunities
and low soft
skills
from the graduates are the main factors. Providing
a wider
Correct the article-noun agreement
wider job opportunities
a wider job opportunity
show examples
job
opportunities
and a good curriculum might be the best solution.
To begin
with, most graduate people are struggling to
apply
Add the preposition
apply for
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
because the
job
supply and the demand are not equal. To exemplify
this
, doctors and health workers are needed in Papua Province but the most needed degrees come from
Correct article usage
the environmenal
show examples
environmenal
Correct your spelling
environmental
sector not from
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
sectors
Fix the agreement mistake
sector
show examples
. Not only is it
cause
Wrong verb form
caused
show examples
by limited
job
opportunities
, but
also
by having low professional soft
skills
which are
essensial
Correct your spelling
essential
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
real work.
As a result
, many fresh graduates have been rejected from the office because they do not have
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
required
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
related
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
job
. From the writer’s view, since the limitation of
job
opportunities
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
the main factor, the government should make a regulation to analyse the number of important field-works in the society to encourage people to choose their study subject based on what is necessary.
For example
, based on the data analysis that Papua’s society
need
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needs
show examples
doctor
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doctors
show examples
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
should push or provide
scholarship
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scholarships
show examples
to encourage people
studying
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to study
show examples
doctor
Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
show examples
. Turning to the second solution of low soft
skills
, the university
hold
Change the verb form
holds
show examples
a vital position in fostering
curiculum
Correct your spelling
curriculum
revision to be more approaching to upgrade student’s soft
skills
rather
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
theoretical knowledge.
For instance
, the university can push student to build their public speaking skill by providing
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good communication training.
To sum up
, apart from limited
carrier
Correct your spelling
career
show examples
possibilities and low practical
soft-skill
Fix the agreement mistake
soft-skills
show examples
possessed by the student, government and education
institution
Fix the agreement mistake
institutions
show examples
hold important
function
Fix the agreement mistake
functions
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
providing not only but
also
a great highly-skilled student.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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