In many countries today there are many highly qualified graduates without employment. What factors, may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, should be done about it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#countries #graduates #employment #factors #situation

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Nowadays, many

best graduating

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best-graduating

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students are facing difficulties in finding a

job

. The writer identifies that limited

job

opportunities

and low soft

skills

from the graduates are the main factors. Providing

a wider

Correct the article-noun agreement

wider job opportunities

a wider job opportunity

show examples

job

opportunities

and a good curriculum might be the best solution.

To begin

with, most graduate people are struggling to

apply

Add the preposition

apply for

show examples

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

because the

job

supply and the demand are not equal. To exemplify

this

, doctors and health workers are needed in Papua Province but the most needed degrees come from

Correct article usage

the environmenal

show examples

environmenal

Correct your spelling

environmental

sector not from

health

Correct article usage

the health

show examples

sectors

Fix the agreement mistake

sector

show examples

. Not only is it

cause

Wrong verb form

caused

show examples

by limited

job

opportunities

, but

also

by having low professional soft

skills

which are

essensial

Correct your spelling

essential

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

real work.

As a result

, many fresh graduates have been rejected from the office because they do not have

Correct article usage

the

show examples

required

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

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with

Change preposition

show examples

the

job

. From the writer’s view, since the limitation of

job

opportunities

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

the main factor, the government should make a regulation to analyse the number of important field-works in the society to encourage people to choose their study subject based on what is necessary.

For example

, based on the data analysis that Papua’s society

need

Change the verb form

needs

show examples

doctor

Fix the agreement mistake

doctors

show examples

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

should push or provide

scholarship

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scholarships

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to encourage people

studying

Change the verb form

to study

show examples

doctor

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doctors

show examples

. Turning to the second solution of low soft

skills

, the university

hold

Change the verb form

holds

show examples

a vital position in fostering

curiculum

Correct your spelling

curriculum

revision to be more approaching to upgrade student’s soft

skills

rather

that

Correct word choice

than

show examples

theoretical knowledge.

For instance

, the university can push student to build their public speaking skill by providing

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good communication training.

To sum up

, apart from limited

carrier

Correct your spelling

career

show examples

possibilities and low practical

soft-skill

Fix the agreement mistake

soft-skills

show examples

possessed by the student, government and education

institution

Fix the agreement mistake

institutions

show examples

hold important

function

Fix the agreement mistake

functions

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

providing not only but

also

a great highly-skilled student.

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Fri Jan 05 2024

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task achievement

Elaborate on ideas more comprehensively with further explanation, justification, and a wider range of relevant examples to enhance task response.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are clearly distinguished and effectively encapsulate the essay's argument.

coherence cohesion

Increase the number of connectives and ensure logical sequencing of ideas to improve clarity and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

288 words

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In many countries today there are many highly qualified graduates without employment. What factors, may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, should be done about it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Fully explain your ideas

Many people believe that funding space exploration is important. To what extent do you agree?

Write about the following topic: Some people believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn, and should not have to pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

Some people think that as long as professional sportsmen and sportswomen are good players, their behavior on and off the paying fields is not important. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that Reading books improves imagination of people and improves their language skills while others say watching TV helps. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some infomation is too important or too valueable to be shared freely.