Some people argue that it is not wise for an industry to replace its experienced but old workers with new and young yet inexperienced individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Many people
contain
that replacing senior staff with younger staff is inappropriate. I do disagree with Verb problem
contend
this
statement based on two reasons; teenage employees are more talented, and they are better trained to deal with today’s problem
.
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
Initially
, Having older workers
in companies
has a positive impact. They have worked in offices for a long time so they directly master in
the fields. It leads to professional Change preposition
apply
working
especially when they can handle every situation or problem. Replace the word
work
For example
, in
insurance corporations Change preposition
apply
they
tend to call Correct pronoun usage
apply
the
senior Correct article usage
apply
workers
for calming
down customers Change preposition
to calm
that
come and complain roughly. Correct pronoun usage
who
Therefore
, the presence of older workers
is needed.
Nonetheless
, young officers tend to be more talented compared to the old ones. Many youngsters are technophiles and it means they can take advantage from
the Change preposition
of
advance
Fix the agreement mistake
advances
of
technology maximally. Change preposition
in
As a result
, they tend to have many brilliant innovations which definitely can improve the company. For example
, many marketing staff in companies
employ young talents for creating
unusual or unique marketing strategies by using technology Change preposition
to create
such
as advertising on online platforms. Moreover
, they are more creative than the seniors because they have better
quality of education Add an article
a better
such
as student exchange and internship programs from their college which in
older Change preposition
apply
workers
do not experience it
. It encourages them to have wider views and be Correct pronoun usage
apply
open minded
, Add a hyphen
open-minded
therefore
they are qualified for helping
Change preposition
to help
companies
to sustain in
Correct pronoun usage
themselves in
modern
era.
Add an article
the modern
To sum up
, senior workers
are professional but for sustaining companies
in
these days having young employees is more needed because they can improve corporations with their creativity and their ability to tackle modern problems.Change preposition
apply
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coherence cohesion
Make sure to provide a clear and coherent argument throughout the essay. Use logical connectors to establish clear relationships between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Include an introduction that clearly states your position and a conclusion that summarizes your main points and reinforces your argument.
coherence cohesion
Support your main ideas with specific examples and evidence. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea that is elaborated upon.
task achievement
Fully address the task by presenting a balanced argument on the importance of both young and senior workers in the industry. Ensure you respond directly to the question asked and stay relevant.
task achievement
Develop your ideas fully and ensure that they are comprehensive and easily understood by the reader.
task achievement
Use a range of relevant, specific examples to illustrate your points. Personal anecdotes or hypothetical scenarios can be effective if they are directly tied to the prompt.
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