IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Universities should enrol equal numbers of male and female students in all subjects. Do you agree or disagree?

#universities #enrol #numbers #students #subjects
There is
Correct article usage
an extend
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extend
Replace the word
extent
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that
Change preposition
to
show examples
universities
Correct pronoun usage
which universities
show examples
 should enrol equal numbers of male and female
students
 in all subjects. I
dissagree
Correct your spelling
disagree
 with that statement, so in that
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will discuss my opinion.
First
Add an article
The first
show examples
 reason why I don't agree with it is because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
admission to universities should be based on meritocracy rather than quotas, ensuring that the most qualified applicants are accepted regardless of gender. If universities take tutees only based
their
Change preposition
on their
show examples
 sex, there is
chance
Add an article
a chance
the chance
show examples
 that some
students
 won't be as smart as other part of tutees.
Addmition
Correct your spelling
Addition
 can have high
requirments
Correct your spelling
requirements
, but if
this
 rule
will be
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 in the world ,
then
 the
admition
Correct your spelling
admission
 may take some
students
which
Correct pronoun usage
whose
show examples
 knowledge is not enough for
this
 education, but by taking
that individuals
Change the determiner
that individual
those individuals
show examples
,
audience
Add an article
the audience
an audience
show examples
 in class will be full for 50% men and
50
Correct article usage
the 50
show examples
% women.
Secondly
,
choice
Correct article usage
the choice
show examples
 of study should be based on personal interest and ability, not enforced gender parity, which could lead to dissatisfaction and high dropout rates if
students
 are compelled into subjects they are not passionate about. One person
for example
 wants to be an engineer, but because there are 10 female
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 and 11 male
students
, his university rejected him. So,
due to
it
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
, he
should
Correct word choice
or should
show examples
 choose another
proffesion
Correct your spelling
profession
 and study
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 it, which is very sad because it
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
 against his or her right to choose.
To conclude
, I don't agree with
this
 statement.
Submitted by satkalialbina07 on

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Task Achievement
The essay does not fully address the question as it does not explore both sides of the argument or give a clear personal stance in a concluding statement.
Task Achievement
You should ensure that the introduction clearly presents the topic and your position, and the conclusion effectively summarizes your arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on structuring the essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Use transition words to improve the flow between points.
Task Achievement
Support your main points with specific examples or evidence to strengthen the argument and achieve higher task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender equality
  • stereotypes
  • workforce
  • discrimination
  • gender biases
  • STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Mathematics)
  • humanities
  • underrepresentation
  • meritocracy
  • quotas
  • academic standards
  • qualifications
  • personal interest
  • enforced gender parity
  • dropout rates
What to do next:
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