IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life,others think that its better to work for different organisations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #work #organisation #life #organisations
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Although
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 some
people
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 think that working for the same
company
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 for a long
time
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 can lead to better results in their job positions, others believe that
focus
Correct article usage
the focus
show examples
 should be on working for different organizations. In my opinion, working for the same
company
Use synonyms
 can contribute to more sense of commitment and achievement on behalf of the employees. On the one hand, some
people
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 think that working for the same
company
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 for a long
time
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 is more beneficial and I agree.
In other words
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, employees have a strong sense of commitment towards the
company
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 in which they are working. In fact, they try hard to meet their companies’ goals.
For example
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, they try to solve the companies’ problems and provide
best
Correct article usage
the best
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 situations for the accomplishment of their organizations.
Furthermore
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, they know their colleagues’ strengths and weaknesses so they can support each other in difficult situations
such
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 as
crisis
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crises
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.
Also
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, being in the same organization for a long
time
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 makes employees familiar with the managers’ policies and it can definitely lead to the
organizations’
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organization’s
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economical
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economic
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 growth
during
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over
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 a long period of
time
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.
On the other hand
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, it is sometimes believed that it is better to work for different companies in different stages of working life. The first reason is that
people
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 may come across new opportunities in new
workplace
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workplaces
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 which can help them to improve
in
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apply
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their social
as well as
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 personal
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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. Another reason is that since they visit new
people
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 with new attitudes, they may have unique experiences that help them to develop more in their workplace. In conclusion,
while
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 some believe that working in different organizations can promote their status during their working life, I think working in the same organization for a long
time
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 can provide
people
Use synonyms
 better opportunities to become more successful.
Submitted by zohal21 on

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Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure you present a clear introduction and conclusion that encapsulate the main viewpoints discussed in the body paragraphs and your stance respectively.
Supported Main Points
Incorporate relevant and specific examples to support each view adequately. The examples given need to be more detailed and context specific to enhance the argument.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task and presents both viewpoints before concluding with a personal opinion. However, pay attention to providing a more balanced discussion of both views and develop the arguments further before reaching a conclusion.
Logical Structure
Maintain logical sequencing of ideas, ensuring each paragraph flows coherently to the next. Transition words can assist in this but be cautious not to overuse them.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Longevity
  • Corporate ladder
  • Adaptability
  • Comfort zone
  • Professional network
  • Diverse skill set
  • Industry exposure
  • Innovation
  • Resilience
  • Seniority
  • Job market
  • Career trajectory
  • Company culture
  • Professional growth
  • Job security
  • Promotion prospects
  • Cross-functional experience
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