Tell us about who you are. How would your family, friends, and/or members of your community describe you? If possible, please include something about yourself that you are most proud of and why.
Individuals are divided into two categories. A majority who seek hope and chance from others. A minority who make their chance and hope. I not only create my own chances; I
also
try to be a
real evidence of the fact that there is no impossible.
I grew up in a small town in Iran, I was in the tenth grade when I realized I desired to go beyond my defined future in there and challenge myself; So I grasped the opportunity to move to the capital, took the exam for the best high school in the country, and got accepted. when I found myself among peers who were the best at their schools, I wasn't anxious at all, I was determined to be the best and simply learn from them.
To attain my goal, I developed an app to assess my study’s efficiency and improve it. It resulted in possessing the best scores in school and receiving an Remove the article
apply
honor
. so I decided to teach other students to use it. Change the spelling
honour
Then
a 70% engagement and 20% increase in total GPA average was seen. By proving myself I was elected as the president of the student council where I took the initiative to found the Arts and Science club
. A place to explore science beyond Capitalize word
Club
school’s
borders and form an Olympiad team Correct article usage
the school’s
which
we won three medals.
Change preposition
in which
Therefore
, my parents admire my management skills, hard work, and impact on others. My friends always recall me as a true leader. this
journey by expanding my real-life skills as my academic knowledge made me confident to achieve more, thus
I chose the best environment to grow and compete, UBC.Submitted by ali1384yazdani on
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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction that sets the topic and a conclusion that summarizes the main points or restates your position. It appears your essay lacks a distinct conclusion which can help to summarize and emphasize your key points.
logical structure
While your essay shows logical sequencing, some improvements can be made in transitioning between ideas and paragraphs to enhance the flow of information. Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices and transition words to link ideas more effectively.
supported main points
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that you provide sufficient support for these ideas. You have presented examples to support your points, but make sure to explain and integrate these fully with your main argument.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your essay addresses the task and presents a response which is relevant, but for the highest marks it should be fully developed with more comprehensive details and an exploration of the implications or contrasting points of view.
complete response
Provide a balanced approach to the tasks by ensuring that all parts of the prompt are addressed adequately. While you do provide relevant examples from personal experience, expanding on these and exploring other dimensions of yourself would add depth to your response.
relevant specific examples
Your essay provides specific details highlighted by your personal experiences and accomplishments, strengthening the overall task response. Consistently include specific and relevant examples to support your claims.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.